Modern Con Man

I picked up this book called "Modern Con Man" and I love it.  It's filled with bar tricks to impress people or win a few wagers.  The whole thing is devious, but in a fun, harmless kind of way.  The motto in the front of the book is:

"Do unto others... then run."

Some of the tricks I've heard of, like playing the game of Nim, but most of them I haven't and they don't require a lot of props either.  Here's a simple example just to give you a taste.

Standing in line, bored?  How about skipping the person ahead of you?  Try this.  Bet him that he can't stand on his right foot for ten seconds if you place him against the wall.  You get to skip him if you win and if he wins, offer him a dollar or something.  When he agrees, place him against the wall, but place him sideways so his right shoulder and right foot are against the wall.  Timber!

I had an enjoyable weekend.  A couple of my friends came over and we watch Lupin III: Castle of Caligostro.  It's an old Myazaki film based on a TV series.

And then...

I stood on the top of the Fraction Building staring down the sights of three rifles trained on me.  Ms. Sayoko stood behind them, her blue curly hair bouncing at her waist and plump red lips curled in an evil smile.

"The Refractor, if you don't mind."

"Funny thing about that, I just gave it to some ninja."

"Then I'll take those nanobots as compensation."

"How about I leave and take the bots and you just have a nice day."

"I wouldn't advise that.  As soon as I saw you on the buildings cameras, I erected an anti-warp field that scatters objects leaving the area faster than the speed of light.  It covers the entire roof."

"Where do you people GET THESE THINGS?"

Just as I was exclaiming about how unfair anti-warp devices were, the sun was fully eclipsed by the moon.  At that moment, the pouch that had been holding Ash's remains began to get very hot.  I quickly tossed it off in self-preservation.  The guards took their guns off of me and aimed at the satchel that was now on fire.  The pouch quickly burned to a crisp and the ashes fell out.

The pile of ashes writhed and grew.  Embers spread out in veins branching out all over the pile.  Then the delicate shape of a human hand burst from the pile as if someone was reaching out of a lake.  The hand, black and crispy like the ash, grasped the roof, pulling itself from the invisible mire.  A shoulder appeared, still black and crispy like the hand with the ember veins mapping out some alien terrain.  Then the head pulled itself from the lake of ash, slowly and laboriously as if the lake was made of some thick syrup.  Her hair was long and draped from her head concealing her face.

Then in a violent flail, she flung her hair backwards and thrust her crispy black bare chest into the air and gasped for breath.  As the air rushed into her, the ember veins flared like a Boy Scout's campfire as he blew on it to keep it going.  She continued her crawl from the primeval pits, one hip and then the next.  Finally the last bits of ash gathered together to finish her long legs and burnt black feet.  She paused a moment, rasping for air, her ember veins pulsing with every gasp.

Then she looked up.  Three frightened gaurds and a carefully retreating Sayoko were in front of her.  She let out a feral screech like someone trying to impersonate a hawk, and doing a pretty good job.  She burst into flames, all the black crispy skin licked away by red hot heat.  Then she lunged at the first guard.  Her fingers clawed through his face, each cutting like a minature blow torch.  The other guards fired their weapons, but each bullet passed through her as if she wasn't even there.  Second guard.  Third guard.  She whirled around and looked right at me.

"Hey now Ash, it's me, Keelhaul?"

I knew this wouldn't work, but I was buying for time.  I couldn't warp, the anti-warp field was still active.  (Anti-warp field, really)

She began leaping towards me on all fours.  As she lunged for me, I pretended to be knocked off.  I was actually jumping.  As I fell, I thought about how mad she was going to be when she found out that we already spent the refractor money.  I wondered if she would have the ability to turn into that thing from now on.  The ground was getting closer, this was a pretty tall building.  I had to warp right before I hit the ground, that way if I warped back, I'd only be six feet in the air instead of sixty.

If I missed timed it, I'd end up as street pizza.  Right... about... now.

Until next time fellow pirates.