PHP: Hypertext Preprocessing

I've decided I want to learn PHP. I was looking around at freelance programming jobs, considering earning a little money on the side if I could do it, and I found that most of the jobs on the site were calling for people to do a PHP script. Apparently PHP and MySQL database are closely tied together and it's a highly marketable skill. I'm not sure how I'm going to go about it yet. I could just get a book and try and learn it myself in my freetime. I could look around the Computer Science department, ask the ACM guys, to see if someone could teach me. I could do a little of both, that'd probably be the best idea. I've decided that I want to add that to my arsenal though.

By the way, PHP is the stupidest acronym I've ever seen.

PHP stands for - PHP: Hypertext Preprocessing

Let me break that down for you.

P stands for PHP
H stands for Hypertext
P stands for Preprocessing

They call it a "recursive" acronym. I think they must have done it because HP was already taken.

Speaking of that. A friend told me, I can't remember who, the reason for the lame change of Sci-Fi channels name to SyFy. Apparently they couldn't trademark Sci-Fi because it was too generally used as the name for the genre. They did it so they can have a name they can trademark and slap on their B movies.


ARSENAL:

Main Weapon: Java
Type: High-level applications
Sub Weapon: C++
Type: High-Level applications
Sub Weapon: COBOL
Type: Business Data Processing
Accessory: HTML
Type: Internet Formatting
Accessory: Flash
Type: Interactive Presentations
Accessory: Photoshop
Type: Image Editing
Artifact: BASIC
Type: Outdated High-Level Language

Aquiring:
Visual Basic - GUIs
MIPS - Low-level Assembly Language
*new* PHP and MySQL - online databases

why'd I list that? I don't know, just felt like it.

I started this really generic RPG, but it's so generic and cheesy that's it caught my attention. It's very colorful and has catchy music too. It's called:
Lufia and the Fortress of Doom (SNES)

Yep, legendary heroes, evil beings called Sinistrals... Very, very generic.

If you can't tell, I'm kinda ADD with my games. I like to have options when I decide to pick one up.

Games I'm working on:
Megaman ZX
Sword of Mana
Scribblenauts
Blackthorne
Lufia and the Fortress of Doom

Games I might pick back up soon:

Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga
Metal Slug 7
Final Fantasy Tactics A2

Lovin' the lists tonight. So I gained a few levels in Lufia.

And then...

I thought I'd head to the bar to recap my latest adventures and search for new work. Notmos Eisley has the best joints to get Spaceweiser and Captain Morgan's. Captain Morgan went on to a sucessful career as a space pirate after his supposed death on Earth. That's why they drink his rum out here.

I ordered a rum and coke and began remembering how I recieved a lead to the Planet of Reeva. The planet had been completely uninhabited. My contact Ash was a green haired hottie. together we disabled three security robots to collect a Refractor Crystal worth a large amount of money.

Ash...

I had learned that her sister Lee was accused of destroying the planet Reeva in a power struggle with her planet Kattox, leading producer of Refractor Crystals.

That was right before she died. A robot-ninja lopped off her head. Her body mysteriously crumbled into ash. By the way, I found a more elegant pouch to keep her ashes as opposed to the tupperware container I originally kept them in.

I sold the Refractor Crystal to buy a wooden spaceship I wanted, but I still need more money to get the thing spaceworthy.

That's one of the reasons I came to this bar in Notmos Eisley. This seedy joint was the best place to pick up lucrative jobs. I looked around the room.

An alien scratching his tentacles,
a blue skinned girl (looking for a good time),
a ninja-robot getting drunk...

Wait a second. It couldn't be. He's getting drunk? He's a robot.

It was definitely the same robot from before. A big grin came over my face. I couldn't resist this.

I slapped him on the back, "Hey buddy, wazzup?"

"I have failed my mission, I lost the..."

"Yes?"

"You! You're the one who did this to me."

"Guilty"

"You're the ONE who did This to ME!"

"You're drunk."

"No, I'm malfunctioning. I'm not supposed to put liquids into my system."

"So. How's things?"

"Rematch."

"Excuse me?"

"I challenge you to a rematch. You will acquire another refractor crystal to replace the one I guarded and I will take it from your dead hands."

"Why would I do that?"

"These."

He held up a transparent box the size of a wallet. It glittered with a strange light that wriggled and moved in an organic manner.

"They're nanobots. They can repair and maintain spaceships, even WOODEN ones."

"How did you know that?"

"Internet. You purchased it online."

"Fair enough, but it was enough trouble getting the first Refractor, how am I going to get another?"

"Head to Kattox. They're the leading producer. You're a pirate right? Be... creative."

"Deal. I steal a crystal and you show up with those nanobots. Last man standing gets both. Where and when ninja?"

"The name is Jack, Jack Haley and Kattox, top of the Fraction Building, day of the solar eclipse."

"I look forward to killing you, Jack."

I'm gonna die.

Until next time fellow pirates.