Captain Comic

As a kid, my selection of games was limited.  I never owned much more than an old computer and an SNES.  We just didn't have that much money to throw around.  I always seemed to be one generation behind.  My friends all had N64s and I was still working with my SNES, I finally got an N64 and everybody was playing PS2s, I get a PS2 and everybody's got 360s.  I never minded though, older systems have a bigger variety of games.  I've been hoping for some time now that game developers will go back and make some games like they used to.  I now see that 360 arcade developers are picking up on that same vibe and doing just that.

Well, that was a long exposition just to say this.  I'm going to show you one of my old favorites.  This was one of the first platformers on PC.  It was a really fun game that is available as shareware.  Not sure if it'll run on modern computers as it was a DOS game, but you should give it a try because it is definitely worth it.













Captain Comic (MS-DOS)

You are Captain Comic, the fireball throwin', space jumpin' defender of space justice!  The planet Tambi is in need of your help.  You have to find and "recover" the treasures that were stolen by an odd assortment of animals and inanimate objects that all want to Kill You!

Presentation - Heavily pixelated graphics, MIDI sound effects, no background music, and only one attack graphic (fireball).  This game's pres is old school and not the reason you play this game.  It's not so poorly done that it keeps you from enjoying the other aspects, but not worth getting credit for.

No points for presentation

(Note: Some reviewers prefer to review the graphics of a game based on the graphics of that time.  I don't think this is helpful.  I'm not reviewing this game for the benefit of someone in 1988, I'm hoping someone will read this sometime in the present and I think they should know what they're getting into.  Also, it's not like we were blind to the fact that our graphics weren't exactly life-like.  Graphics may have improved over the past twenty years, but our eyes haven't, or have they?  If an old game I review had superior graphics at one time, I may give it credit to recognize the quality of work put into it, but otherwise I'll be reviewing the graphics as I see 'em.)

Entertainment - This game is not only one of the first platformers on PC, it's one of the oldest "sandbox" games I've ever played.  You can literally go almost anywhere from the start of the game.  There are some upgrades like jump boots and a teleport wand that are required to reach some areas of the game, but otherwise it's completely free range.  The beginning may seem like it's linear, but that only lasts for a little while.  The game is challenging at first, but as you get used to the jumping and enemy movement patterns it becomes much easier.  Gameplay is the highlight of this game, and I believe it has the best gameplay of 1988 PC games.  That's right, this game gets PC Game-of-the-Year 1988 in my book.  For its excellent gameplay, I'm going to give this game Bonus Points.

Entertainment gets an extra-credit 1.5

Literary Value - This arcade style game has almost no plot.  There might have been one in the Readme file or something.  The enemies are killer bees, beach balls, and blind frogs?  Colorful, fun to play, but it don't make a lick of sense.  It is kinda humorous, but only because it's ridiculously arbitrary.

Literary gets no points

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Respect - This game was not popular and its sequel is almost completely unknown.  I haven't even played it.  Obscure, oh yeah, least I think so.  Maybe if they ever remake it the respect for this original would go up, but I wouldn't count on it.

Sorry Captain, no respect (but I still luv ya!)

Conclusion:  The gameplay is the only worthy factor here.  It was tons o' fun back in the day and it's still fun today.  I'm not gonna call it a masterpiece or a classic.  Heck, I hesitate to call it a good game.  Still, give it a try, it needs yo lovin'.

Captain Comic gets 1.5 Blastola Colas out of 4.

I went to the South Carolina State Fair last weekend.  That's why I haven't posted anything over the weekend.  I had a deep fried Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.  I love those things.


And then...

The floating body that had formed from the towering Cthulu that we had just defeated floated in front of us in the vacuum of space.  Thinking quickly, I commanded the nanobots to extend my astroshield to cover our new guest.  Ash had lost all the cool she had built up a few minutes ago.  She was chattering nervously about something, I couldn't understand her because she was talking too fast.

"...ifnohospitalthenyougottawarporsomethin"

"ASH, shut up... please?"

Amazingly the girl was alive.  I used my nanobots to magnetize myself back to the mech.  I imagine the miners who used to work here, probably had a similar system.  Back inside the mech, Ash kept starting to say something, but then deciding not to.  We moved towards the light I saw deeper in the asteroid.

"What! You can't go deeper in.  We've gotta get to civilization."

"She's been living here for this long, I bet she'll make it back in her own home."

"If she dies..."

"Fine. She won't, but yeah if she does then feel free to do whatever you need to do to me."

Ash was willing to trust that.  She figured I didn't have a death wish.  A normal human wouldn't have made it as long as this girl had in the vacuum of space.  She could survive in an anaerobic environment, I just knew it.

We came upon the quaintest little cottage sitting in the middle of the dark depressing asteroid mine.  It looked completely out of place, impossible even.  We entered into the building through a front door sized airlock.  It even had a doorbell!

As we entered the living room, Lee began to arouse in my arms.  She gently lifted out of my hands and drifted away, driven by an unseen force.  She righted herself and stood floating a foot from the floor of the cozy space cottage.

She stared into my eyes with a glare from a distant place.  Like she was thinking about something else and just leaving her eyes in my direction.  She wasn't though, she was looking at me, all of me, past, present, and maybe...

She began to speak with an angelic harmony that defied the acoustics of the room.

Lady with the lips
Lips that smile
Lips that bite
Lady with the snarling smile

"Do you mean Sayoko?"

You will help her rise
You will help her fall
Your hand will guide this evil
This evil will guide your hand

"I won't play by her rules, sorry."

Her rules are your rules
You make the rules, you rule her
In the end, you'll play, she'll pay
Like children telling a story

"Who are you?"

Once I was sister to the phoenix
Once I was a monster bound by a spell
Always I am the oracle, now and forever
I am Leet

She extended her hand and I began to feel my consciousness slipping.  I spent the next three years in the not so distant past. For my convenience I will chronicle it as usual, but I did not actually have the ability to return to Earth during this time.

Until another time fellow pirates.