My Blog, Talking 'bout My Blooog.

I want to talk about my blog in my blog today.  Time for something a little zen.  I wanted to discuss why I post the way I do and how it's been benefitting me.

As you know, after I blog about my adventures on Earth I begin blogging about my space-faring adventures.  I been using these logs as a scratchpad for my authory thoughts.  It's literary practice like a flat stone to sharpen my knife, a decoy to practice my latest moves on, or an experience rich area to level up my RPG hero.  Even without input from an outside source, I still have learned quite a lot.  Just looking at what I wrote I see things that I like and things I thought would be good but weren't so great.

I'll list a few things now, starting with planning.  I've found that if I concentrate on planning out the story then I tend to rush through the events with not enough details.  Planning is good and keeps me on a clear path, but I've found that fictional writing is much more an emotional process than a logical one.  If it feels right, then go with it.

I found that you can make "special effects" with words.  I used this counting in the background to add emotion to my fight with Jack, and I really liked that.  I'm going to try and experiment with more "text effects" in later posts.

A character from FLCL, Nauta, made a cameo in an earlier post.  I liked the idea, but I totally messed up Nauta.  I didn't capture his character.  One of the problems was I didn't describe him well enough, but the biggest problem was the dialogue was all wrong.  One of my weak points is giving my characters more character in their dialogue.  I'm not entirely sure what I should do.  I guess I should add some frequently used words to each person's unique dialogue.

I've been trying to write with an exponential curve of detail as I progress through each post.  I start out with just the important stuff from the events leading up the main event.  Then I describe the main event with moderate detail up until just before the climactic moment.  Then I spend a lot of detail on the climax leading up to a one-liner.  I think this is a good structure for episodic writing, maybe all writing.

Things I'm planning on doing?  I plan to include some in-depth character bios in my next recap post maybe with pics.  I plan on incorporating a little poetry into my posts.  I've seen it done in some books I've read and I think it might help.  I plan on trying to tie my posts into posts from a couple of days ago.  Like maybe I'll describe a stoplight in one post that I use as a weapon in the next post, etc.


I was eating dinner in my campus dining hall today and it was kind of crowded.  A guy walks up and sits down across from me at my table.  This wouldn't have been strange if it were one of the longer tables, but this was a small four person table.  The guy doesn't say a word and just sits down and starts eating.  I thought about making a comment to break the tension like, "Kinda crowded tonight."  Then I realized that if I wanted to sit down at someone's table, I would ask first.  So I decided to let him talk first, but he never did.  It was really awkward, I think it was his fault.

And then...

The writhing, winged, tentacled monstrosity continued to stare us down.  I tried to avert my eyes.  The terrifying visage of the beast was like a train wreck, you had to keep looking at it.  Only this was worse.  The sight of the being slowly began to peel away your mind and drive you into eternal nightmares.

"Try not... to look... directly at it, Ash."

After managing to avert my eyes, I grabbed Ash's trembling chin and forcibly turned her head from it.  She tore herself away and pushed aside my helping hand.  I explained the plan.

"This is a Cthulu, a small one."

"A Cthulu?  I thought there was only one."

"There used to be, but things happened and now there are plenty of them.  I can fight it, but it will only distract it.  It feeds on the anger of battle.  The only thing that can truly stop it is complete calm and confidence."

"So what do you want me to do?"

"I'm going to drill this thing into the wall.  While we're arm wrestling, I need you somewhere else.  Get out of the mech, go to a dark corner of the cavern and..."

"Out of the Mech!?"

"Find your happy place."

I opened the hatch on the mech.  The writhing tentacles crawled into the hull.  I slammed on the controls and drove a drill right into its center.  The drill began spinning.

Spinning.

The sound of the drill squishing the monsters guts was satisfying.  The monster wasn't really hurting though.  He was just trying to get me riled up and it was working.

"Go, go now!"

Ash bit her lip and jumped through the opening and began crawling to the back of the mech.  I continued to work the drills.

SPinning.

The monster grew bored of crying in agony and reached inside the Mech with its huge clawed hand.  Tentacles protruded from the palm of the paw.  This thing has tentacles all over it.  I drew a sword in one hand while still holding the mech controls in the other.  I rose the sword above my head and twirled it a few times...

SPInning.

...and brought it down on the claw.  I cut off one of the fingers and the hand retracted in false pain.  He was good.  The bloodlust was strong now.  I could feel it...

SPINning.

...welling up inside me.  What was taking Ash so long?  Moments felt like minutes, seconds like hours as the drills continued to spin.

SPINNing.

The monster stared at me with his eye of insanity and reached in and pinned me against the wall with his other hand.  Tentacles crawled up the sides of my head feeling around beneath my eyes.  I felt my head...

SPINNIng.

...aching and sadness, fear, and pain began to fill my whole being.  It drug me out of the mech, helpless to fight back, and towards its abyssal mouth.  Ash couldn't do it, her fear, for herself and me, would keep her from stopping it and this was going to be my final mission.

Then, I felt N.O. rushing up inside me.  I felt the asteroid that surrounded me, drifting, flipping over and over in the comsmos.

SPINNINg.

I think I actually heard the monster chuckle.  He sensed my N.O.  Actually, he was waiting for it.  He was going to absorb it for himself.  I couldn't stop the power.  It came to me like falling unconscious but backwards.  I was waking up and I couldn't stop.

SPINN...

"STOP!"

It was Ash's voice.  My N.O. faded and the monster stared straight at it.

"Put him down."

The monster moved as close as it could to Ash without touching her and she didn't even blink.

"Now."

The monster obeyed reluctantly and then began writhing in a real pain.  It began to shrink.  Not only did it shrink, but it began to take on humanoid form.  It finally reached the form of a young woman with long hair.  It was hard to tell with only the light from the mech, but it looked like her hair was... green.

"Captain!  It's Lee."

Until next time fellow pirates.

Erfworld

Quite some time ago, I was recommended to read a webcomic called Erfworld.  Having finished Book 1, I thought I'd post my thoughts.

Erfworld is a land ruled by the conventions of table-top gaming.  Wars are fought in turns and movement is measured in hexagonal grid spaces.  Lord Stanley is surrounded by enemy forces with his capitol as his only remaining stronghold.  In a last ditch effort to save his kingdom he orders that a warlord be summoned.

Parson is fat, sweaty, minimum wage earning nerd who regularly plays table-top games.  Summoned into Erfworld he is tasked with winning a losing battle.

The artwork is very well done.  This comic features a super-deformed style of drawing found in some japanese comics.  The lines are clean and the colors are well done with some added graphical effects now and then that improve the presentation.

The story has average pacing, not as slow as most web comics but still slower than commercial comics.  The author does a good job in keeping the tension rolling.

The best feature of this comic is the constant allusions especially to internet culture or old TV shows.  The author works them into the story solidly and makes them regularly.  The comic can be pretty funny at times, mostly there's little humor or a sort of dry humor.

I only really have one small complaint.  The author seems to really enjoy the system and world he made with this comic and has extended sections discussing these topics in detail.  It can be very dry and is mostly unimportant.  However, the author does a very good job of setting this information in a different style.  I found that if the information was too boring then I could simply skip over it without missing much story.

I have yet to read the summer updates that add more to the story and the author has yet to start on Book 2, but I believe I will continue to follow this story, it has caught my interest, it might catch yours.

Today it rained cats and dogs.  I got soaked on my way to business writing and flood warnings were given on several of the schools parking lots.  I did go out after class and retrieve some valuable information for deferring some of my loans.

And then...

I pushed off of the ground and floated to the cockpit of the mining robot.  I motioned Ash to follow.  She hesitated, clearly not liking the idea, but decided to follow.  I began tinkering with the controls.  I knew how to operate similar mechs but I had never used one of these before.

"Do you know what you're doing?"

"Relax baby, I never know what I'm doing."

She wasn't reassured by this fact, but sat back for the ride.  The cockpit was designed for one, but it was large enough for Ash to sit on the dash.

I activated the magnetic walking system and began pushing the thing down into the asteroid.  The lighting was damaged and flickered in most places.  Eventually there was no more left.  The metal walkway continued forward and the robot walked across it as if it was the surface of a planet.  The robot had head lights that lit the path right in front of us, but the walls remained mostly dark and the abyssal path ran towards the center of the asteroid.

The dark tentacles of something monstrously large reached out towards the robot from the darkness.  Ash screamed despite herself.  A shiver ran down my back.  I had seen that shape before and I don't like to remember it.  The monster retreated deeper into the darkness of the asteroid.  I turned to look at Ash holding her hands over her mouth.  She took her hands away to reveal a nervous smile.

"Well, I guess that's that.  No Lee, we should head back and try somewhere else."

"Ash, that thing is here for a reason.  They don't just take up residence in any abandoned asteroid.  We should check this out."

"Listen Keelhaul, as a space adventuring female I have a natural aversion to tentacles and I'm not going to support a decision to go further in."

"You wanna get out and walk back?"

The blackness of the tunnel was complete without the head lights of the mech.  That thing was clearly ahead of the vehicle, but it wouldn't be the most pleasant walk back to the ship.  This was going to be challenging.  I had never had the advantage of a giant mech when I fought one of these last time, but I knew that most people wind up dead or worse after encountering these beasts.  It was guarding something and it was likely related to Lee.

"No Cap'n.  Full sail."

The mech continued laboring towards the center of the asteroid.  The complete lack of sound due to the vacuum of space only made this excursion creepier.  The walls of the asteroid were porous.  Most of the holes were too small for a human to crawl through, but some were large enough that the mech might be able to fit in.  Suddenly the walkway ended, but the cave continued forward.

"No, no no, nooo.  I am not getting out and walking."

"Don't worry greens, this thing can still manage without the walkway.  It's just a lot more challenging to steer."

I activated the thruster system and the robot began drifting into the black abyss.  The tunnel ended opening up into a large cavern filled with natural columns.  Far deeper into the center of the cabin I could make out a light.  I adjusted the robot and came to a stop in the cavern to think about how to proceed.

Thump.

Something hit the mech from behind.  My adrenaline rose over 9000.  I twisted the mech around with the thrusters coming face to face with a monstrosity indescribible with words or pictures.  Writhing tentacles twisted from various places on his body, especially from what one would assume was the face.  A giant eye centered on the gruesome for stared into my very soul with a twisted scowl that screamed hatred, fear, agony, and confusion.  His bat-like wings spread so far apart that the lights of the mech could not even illuminate them completely.  His skin was not colored, but rather was black.  Blackness that could not be penetrated mixed with blackness not so strong that seemed to at least reflect some of the light from the headlights.  The eye was green, red, and many other colors, colors that seemed to fade and appear at random.  Yet these colors were not real, if you stopped concentrating on the eye it became the same blackness that formed the rest of the beast.

"W-w-whaat issit?"

"What isn't it?"

Until next time fellow pirates.

Sonic and Friends

About a week ago I believe I told you that I was trying out a writing community called Bibliofaction.  Don't go.  Most of the pieces were poorly written smut, which I expected to a degree after all I was looking for a Deviant Art of writing, but there was no system in place to rate works or sort through the bad ones.  I will continue my search... Elsewhere!

I wanted to mention Google Wave.  My friend who adores guinea pigs, in a totally no homo masculine way, mentioned that the internets were abuzz with this new leet software.  I looked into it and I was actually impressed this time.  Normally I don't approve of listening to hype, but I would advise everyone to keep there eye on this one.  It appears to be a cross between an Instant Messenger and a Document sharer.  It looks like its going to have a lot of functionality.  The makers are kinda stuck up about it, saying they think it's going to replace email, psh yea sure.  I do think it looks like a good product and if its free, hot dog!

Speaking of guinea-man, on Sixty's Blog he reviewed a bad game for a change of pace.  Now I'm not competitive or anything, *glance left and right* but I think I WILL review a bad game.  Okay, maybe a little competitive.


Sonic Heroes

Sonic and his many many obscure friends on a three dimensional adventure to... do... something... that involves Robotn- I mean EGGMAN!

Presentation - This game is in 3D, but the graphics are simple, way too glossy, and tend to clip, flicker and otherwise bug out.  The music is annoying and the theme song makes me want to get a bucket and hurl and then find someone who likes this game and dump it on them.  The cutscenes are clearly not synched up with the voice acting either, not that they'd be impressive if they were.

Presentation gets no points.

Entertainment - 3D Sonic has always struggled and this one is probably the best example.  The controls are stiff, the homing attacks make you bounce all over the place, and weird camera angles for dramatic effect change your controls and make you fall to your death.  Enemies in the game are no threat.  Hitting one makes you lose like 10 rings or something, really easy to get back.  Never the less, you will die all the time in this game.  The game is almost nothing but platforms placed over endless pits of death.  Even landing in deep water is instant death.  Strange camera angles don't make avoiding this death any easier.  An awkard team mechanic coupled with a leveling up system makes this game feel very not Sonic-esque.  When gameplay is the mainstay of a game, like it usually is in platformers, you really can't afford to mess it up.

Entertainment gets no points.

Literary Value - heh, ha, ha ha, HA HA HA HA Ha Ha, Ha, ha, ha, hoo, whoo, yea, good one.

No points.

Respect - Sonic was a big name series and still has a large following, but even most fans of Sonic will still agree, this game stinks.  This is not a highly acclaimed game, in fact its rather often the butt of many a joke.

Sonic Heroes gets NO RESPECT!


Sonic Heroes gets 0 rings / 4 and dies.

Final Notes - This is the only game that I wish I could get rid of.  Most bad games I get I just sell, but my six-year-old sister is a hoog Sonic fan and being six she has no taste in games.  The colorful graphics and repetitive theme song hypnotizes her young impressionable mind and she makes us play it for her sometimes.  We've almost got it completely out of her system by hiding it in the back of our games case, but sometimes she remembers or finds it.  As Roland of Gilead says, "For your father's sake," don't get this game.

Fall Break is coming up this week.  I'll be with my family and I may not update until I get back.  I'm not going to promise I won't, but don't be surprised if I don't.

I worked on my assembly language project today.  Assembly language is probably the most cryptic computer language I've had to deal with.  I have to use a reference card to remember the difference between load word and load immediate.  I got it mostly done today all that's left is some debugging.

And then...

We landed the ship on the asteroid's landing pad.  The place was an abandoned mining colony with old rusted digging equipment and space weathered buildings with faded Fraction Corps logos on them.  (It looks like pac man)

"Nanobot Command, Astro-Shield, Personal" I commanded the nanobots to form a space survival shield to protect me from the vacuum of space and provide me with compressed air to breath.  It's completely invisible.

Ash repeated my command.

She cut her hair back to its original short state where it comes down just below her ears.  It is still completely green, apparently she didn't have the dye to get the blond tips she had before.  Reminds me of Ryoko on Martian Successor Nadesico.

"Stop staring and lets get moving."

"Hey now, I'm the captain, I give the... orders."

She had already pushed off the ship towards one of the walk lines.  The gravity on the asteroid is too low to really walk so the workers put up ropes along the surface they could use to pull themselves along with.

The barren cold surface of the asteroid filled with the ruins of a long gone civilization gave me a bad feeling.  You have to think that people once lived and worked here every day.  Now there was nothing but silence.

"COMM CHECK!"

"Lord! Ash, do you have to yell?"

"I'll take that as an affirmative."

"Yea, yea, affirmative.  There's no one here, if your sis is hiding out here she's gotta be in the mines."

"Roger that, let's go."

"Aye."

We drifted into the darkness of the mines.  As we got deeper into the cave we realized neither of us had brought a flashlight.

"I think we should go back."

Just then, the lights flickered on.  Ash's eyes flickered on as well.

"She's here!"

"calm down, could've been motion detected or worse, could be someone else."

"Stop being pessimistic."

"Then stay on your toes!"

She stared at me for a moment with nothing but defiance in her puckered lips, but then she softened into a grudging compliance.

"Aye cap'n."

We continued down the mines until we reached a sector with a huge metal walkway leading deeper.  The walkway appeared to be for using magnetic boots to simulate gravity, but there were still walk lines along the ground.

"What d'you think these metal walkways are for?"

Ash pointed down the cave.

"That."

I followed her gaze to a towering metal colossus with drills for arms.  A mech, mining class, but big enough to impress anyone standing in its shadow.  Nearly ten stories tall, its drills were at least two stories tall by themselves.

"I want one."

Until next time fellow pirates.

Disgaea

I'm craving a game that I can't play.  One it's on PS2 and two I don't own a copy.  Since I can't play it, I'm gonna review it, or something.  Most of my friends, those who love the 80's and those who live off of chicken fingers, will not hear anything here they don't already know.  This is mostly just for me to stifle my craving, hopefully.


Disgaea: Hour of Darkness

I'll use my normal format really quickly and then I want to get to the good stuff, as this is more commentary than review.

Presentation - Disgaea has beautiful high definition art during cutscenes and brightly colored over-the-top special moves.  It may lack some in animation, but makes up for it and more in artwork.

Full-Marks for Pres.

Entertainment - Providing one of the most intricate strategy RPG systems I have ever seen with a plethora of levels, many of which are optional, you could literally play this game for hundreds of hours and still find new stuff.  Trust me, I have a friend who's done it.

Entertainment gets Full-Marks

Literary Value - A heart-felt divine comedy with several plot twists and a fresh from the villain perspective.  It may have a little anime cheese to it.  But just enough to make it better and not hinder it.

Full-Marks for Story (seeing a pattern here?)

Respect - Now here's where I get picky with my review.  This game is obscure, it used to be a lot more obscure than it is now.  Now it's very in with the nerd crowd and the anime crowd.  Popular? No.  Well-known?  Not really.  Highly acclaimed?  Definitely.  It's not a perfect game, but it's damn near close.

Respect? Half-Cred.  It's good enough for me.

Disgaea gets 3.5 exploding prinnies out of 4


Enough review, I just wanna ramble.  Disgaea Commentary starts here.  One of my favorite things about Disgaea was Item World.  When you need to level up, Item world is there for you.  Not only does it provide random dungeons to train your peeps in, but doing so makes your items better too.  Also, Item World was chocked full of goodies to be had in case you were low on cash or needed some better gear.

It wasn't just easy pickings either though.  If you went into Item World unprepared or picked the wrong item to jump into to, you'd find yourself over your head fast.  Mr. Gency's Exits were a godsend, and made it so that even if you did get in over your head, you could still salvage the situation.

I think the combo system made the game ten times more fun as well.  Both the physical attack combo and the stringing together several commands combo.

And the game was so funny.  Even the battle system was hilarious.  Your stats had practically no limits, throwing your teammates around was a strategy, and if you couldn't get a bill passed you could just beat up everyone who didn't vote for you.

Disgaea 2 and 3 weren't as good.  Disgaea 2 would've gotten a 3/4 and I didn't play Disgaea 3 enough to know what it would get.  I think Disgaea 2 made a lot of good changes to the game system, but the story was much weaker.  And it didn't have the deep character development of the first one.  I think Rozalin was the best character and she didn't have that much going for her.  Despite Axel's attempts at being the next Mid-Boss, he couldn't quite live up.

I think the fact that you could use a ton of different strategies really helped Disgaea too.  You could power-level Laharl to kill everything, or you could work with a huge rotating cast.  You could pick your favorite characters and even mold them to your preferences to a degree.  I made Flonne a gun user, best one I had, because I made her that way.  She would've been much more suited to healing or working with a bow, but I said no, she's gonna pop some caps.

Last word, if you're reading this and you don't know about Disgaea, play this game.  If you're reading this and you do know Disgaea, please send me a copy, a PS2, and million dollars, please?

I worked on some Visual Basic projects today.  Visual Basic is really easy to use.  It also seems rather limited in its capabilites, but I'm taking the class so I'm learning the language.

And then...

I used Googalaxy to search for leads to finding Lee, but the words of Sayoko still swam in my head.  She had said that Lee had killed herself when she activated the weapon of mass destruction.  Hey, Ash had died and she was standing over my shoulder right now.  Maybe it was genetic?

"What's bothering you Keelhaul?"

"Sayoko said your sister was dead."

"Sayoko says a lot of things.  Keep looking."

I could see I wasn't going to change her mind about this one.  I found a chat on PirateLinks about someone saying they thought they saw Lee Edwards' spaceship landing on one of Fraction Corps asteroid mining bases.

Sounding like a good enough place to start.

The nanobots I picked up had the ship up and running.  Her beautiful hardwood floors glowed in the unfettered starlight.  Her completely useless sails fluttered in an artificial breeze.  Really stunning and completely superfluous.  The boards even creaked as you walked across them, just for added effect.  The photon cannons were molded into age of exploration cannons with powder kegs next to it and everything.

The only thing it was missing... a crew.  The decks were huge and completely empty.  Thanks to the nanobots neural interface, I could pilot the ship all by myself, but it still needed a crew.  I could use the extra hands too.

At least I had a first mate.

"And these, my lady, are your private quarters."

"So I can paint the walls pink right?"

"Well, you, I mean..."

"I'm just kidding.  It feels weird to have a place to call my own.  I've been on the road for several years now."

"You and your husband?"

"No, ex-husband, and he was too ADD with me anyway, sans travel."

(Cha-ching)

"By the way Keelhaul, you look a lot like him."

"Related maybe?  What's his name?"

"Bob Citsrk?"

"Don't know him.  It actually sounds like a name I'd use as an alias, but I've never met you before.  I'd have to get really drunk not to remember getting married."

"Yea, guess so..."

"Anyway, get some sleep, we'll hit that asteroid tomorrow."

"I hope not."

Until next time fellow pirates.

dA Today

I'm bored.  Time for a new segment. Today I'll browse through Deviant Art and pull some of my favorites of the day.  I may take some stuff made in the last week or so.  I'll go with my top three today.  I may do more or less next time.


Time to Fly


I like the sense of scale the author used in this piece.  It reminded me of those commercials for Aion.


Dragon and Slave (Censored)

I, um, ahem, I thought this piece was well colored and... yea okay I thought it was kinda hot.  Sorry about the censoring, but this is a public page that may be viewed by minors.


Kappa


I found this picture very frightening despite the lower detail.  Artist did a good job with mood.


I didn't find as much as I was expecting to find.  I got a hundred on a Assembly language exam I was dreading, so I'm happy today.  Still busy though.  I'll get it all done though.

And then...

I warped back to find myself safely six feet above the ground outside of the Fraction building.  Falling six feet still hurts though.  I shook it off and walked back towards the building.

The building was deserted, likely evacuated during the fight.  I walked up and pushed the call button for the elevator.

Waiting.

The elevator doors slid open and I began to step into the elevator.  I was kindly met with a pistol in my face.  Luckily (or unluckily) I found that Ash was behind that pistol.  She looked human again.  Her hair fell straight to her waist and was solid green.  She wore the tattered burnt remains of one of the guards' uniforms.  Besides that she looked just like she used to.

She lowered her gun and ran up and hugged me.

"Thank you for bringing me back."

"It was nothing.  You really helped me out of a scrape up there."

"I hope I didn't hurt you.  I didn't know I could do that."

"Naw, so... can you do that whenever you want now."

('Cause it's almost time for the bad news)

"I don't think so, but maybe."

(Not good.)

"Well, I'm glad you're back, but I should be on my way."

"Take me with you.  I could use your help again sometime, and I owe you one for bringing me back."

"You owe me one, eh?  Well in that case I guess you could tag along."

"Besides I need to pick up the money from the refractor."

"I spent it."

Here comes the look.

"All of it?  I needed that money."

"Just my share, just call us even, waddaya say?"

"I need you to help me find my sister."

"That sounds like work."

"I was going to use the money from that refractor to fund my search, but since you spent it, I guess I'll have to squeeze it out of you."

"Very well, but if we do this, you have to become my first full fledge crew-mate."

"I'm not sure I like the implications of 'mate' but okay, Ash Citsrk at your service."

(Oh yea, her husband, I'll ask her later.)

Until next time fellow pirates...

Modern Con Man

I picked up this book called "Modern Con Man" and I love it.  It's filled with bar tricks to impress people or win a few wagers.  The whole thing is devious, but in a fun, harmless kind of way.  The motto in the front of the book is:

"Do unto others... then run."

Some of the tricks I've heard of, like playing the game of Nim, but most of them I haven't and they don't require a lot of props either.  Here's a simple example just to give you a taste.

Standing in line, bored?  How about skipping the person ahead of you?  Try this.  Bet him that he can't stand on his right foot for ten seconds if you place him against the wall.  You get to skip him if you win and if he wins, offer him a dollar or something.  When he agrees, place him against the wall, but place him sideways so his right shoulder and right foot are against the wall.  Timber!

I had an enjoyable weekend.  A couple of my friends came over and we watch Lupin III: Castle of Caligostro.  It's an old Myazaki film based on a TV series.

And then...

I stood on the top of the Fraction Building staring down the sights of three rifles trained on me.  Ms. Sayoko stood behind them, her blue curly hair bouncing at her waist and plump red lips curled in an evil smile.

"The Refractor, if you don't mind."

"Funny thing about that, I just gave it to some ninja."

"Then I'll take those nanobots as compensation."

"How about I leave and take the bots and you just have a nice day."

"I wouldn't advise that.  As soon as I saw you on the buildings cameras, I erected an anti-warp field that scatters objects leaving the area faster than the speed of light.  It covers the entire roof."

"Where do you people GET THESE THINGS?"

Just as I was exclaiming about how unfair anti-warp devices were, the sun was fully eclipsed by the moon.  At that moment, the pouch that had been holding Ash's remains began to get very hot.  I quickly tossed it off in self-preservation.  The guards took their guns off of me and aimed at the satchel that was now on fire.  The pouch quickly burned to a crisp and the ashes fell out.

The pile of ashes writhed and grew.  Embers spread out in veins branching out all over the pile.  Then the delicate shape of a human hand burst from the pile as if someone was reaching out of a lake.  The hand, black and crispy like the ash, grasped the roof, pulling itself from the invisible mire.  A shoulder appeared, still black and crispy like the hand with the ember veins mapping out some alien terrain.  Then the head pulled itself from the lake of ash, slowly and laboriously as if the lake was made of some thick syrup.  Her hair was long and draped from her head concealing her face.

Then in a violent flail, she flung her hair backwards and thrust her crispy black bare chest into the air and gasped for breath.  As the air rushed into her, the ember veins flared like a Boy Scout's campfire as he blew on it to keep it going.  She continued her crawl from the primeval pits, one hip and then the next.  Finally the last bits of ash gathered together to finish her long legs and burnt black feet.  She paused a moment, rasping for air, her ember veins pulsing with every gasp.

Then she looked up.  Three frightened gaurds and a carefully retreating Sayoko were in front of her.  She let out a feral screech like someone trying to impersonate a hawk, and doing a pretty good job.  She burst into flames, all the black crispy skin licked away by red hot heat.  Then she lunged at the first guard.  Her fingers clawed through his face, each cutting like a minature blow torch.  The other guards fired their weapons, but each bullet passed through her as if she wasn't even there.  Second guard.  Third guard.  She whirled around and looked right at me.

"Hey now Ash, it's me, Keelhaul?"

I knew this wouldn't work, but I was buying for time.  I couldn't warp, the anti-warp field was still active.  (Anti-warp field, really)

She began leaping towards me on all fours.  As she lunged for me, I pretended to be knocked off.  I was actually jumping.  As I fell, I thought about how mad she was going to be when she found out that we already spent the refractor money.  I wondered if she would have the ability to turn into that thing from now on.  The ground was getting closer, this was a pretty tall building.  I had to warp right before I hit the ground, that way if I warped back, I'd only be six feet in the air instead of sixty.

If I missed timed it, I'd end up as street pizza.  Right... about... now.

Until next time fellow pirates.

Football, a critique

Today was a football game here at USC. It was a big one too. Us versus Ole Miss. I always hate the time from 4-6 on game days. All the frat guys are worked up, but none of them have left for the game. I don't get Football. Not football itself, I enjoy watching a good game a football with a group of friends. I enjoy school spirit. Feeling united together with people who live and work with you is a good thing. I just don't get why everyone goes crazy. I think there's something more to it, something more sinister.

I think there's a bloodlust to it. A craving for violence that can't be fulfilled in today's modern controlled society. The closest thing they have is violent sports like football. It's not even a craving for athletics, I know a lot of these fanatics that don't look like they've played football in years. I'm speculating of course, I don't have any data or anything.

I think most of it isn't even each person's individual violent nature, but rather a mob mentality that lets people drop there mental guards and go with crowd. They feel like it's okay to be ultra-violent because everyone else is too. I would not want to tick off one of these crowds. They could tear you apart and they'd all blame it on each other.

It's possible I'm overreacting, but let me tell you, if anything ever does happen with football crowd hysteria, something bad, I'll be right there with a big sign, "I told you so."

I actually do wish I went to this game though. One of my friends came down to watch the game. He might not even be able to stop in though, he had to go to the game straight from work and if he has to work tomorrow then he'll have to head straight home afterword. Like I said, I enjoy a good game of football, now and then, with some friends.

But tonight I simply play "Lufia and the Fortress of Doom." Hey, how about a microreview, there's not much to this game.

Lufia and the Fortress of Doom

Presentation - Very 90's RPG. Good for it's time, and still catchy today. Fun but repetitive music and colorful, simple graphics. Full Points

Literary Value - Four warriors battle the evil Sinistrals. I like how cheesy it is, but it's no work of art. (Just an expression)
Half-Credit

Entertainment - Old school JRPG, riddled with Step, Step, Battle syndrome. It does you the service of sending you back to town when you die with all your earnings, but items don't have descriptions and monsters are more of a chore than a challenge.
No-Credit

Respect - Lufia and the Fortress of Doom? My friend had played a remake, but I had to dig to find this game. Sorry Lufia, you get No Respect.

Lufia and the Fortress of Doom gets:
1.5 DragonEggs out of 4 - Below Average

If you're craving some nostalgia like I am, go for it, but this game is old school Dragon Quest style.


And then...

"Well Jack, it's time for..."

A kunai flew from his fingertips and stabbed me right in the leg.

"Not wasting any time I see."

"It's an anti-warp device."

"Say wha?"

"If you warp anywhere, I'll be drug with you."

He didn't want me to run away. That was actually one of my most likely options. This wasn't good.

"You got the nanobots?" I tried to pull the kunai out, no good, stuck in tight.

"There location is stored in my hard-drive. But you won't survive to access it."

"I wouldn't count on that."

One, two...

I leapt forward, he leapt forward, our blades clashed in the collision. I had one saber in each hand, he had only one katana that he two-handed. I dropped a blade and pulled my pistol.

Three, four...

He blocked both shots with his blade. I hate it when they do that. He rushed forward with blinding speed. I picked up my second sword.

I declare war.

It was all I could do just to keep up with the flurry of blows. He leapt backwards and stood at ready.

"This is all? Without your precious warping you are nothing. Why don't you warp? I would follow, but would I not be disoriented by the trip?"

I wouldn't count on that.

Ten, nine...

He began his barrage again. He was holding back. He could've killed me by now. I decided to try his theory out.

Eight, seven...

In the refractory, our battle continued. He did seem to pause for a moment to take in his new surroundings. I took an initiative.

Six, five...

Blocked, both strikes. Not enough, might as well keep it on the rooftop. Warping back he flew at me, familiar with this terrain.

Four, three...

"Two, you only have two places you can warp to? I underestimated you. I should've killed you back on Reeva."

He was right.

Two, one...

"But now you will die here."

I saw his blade readying into posistion. I saw the killing blow look in his eye. I knew I'd never see the actual strike, but I had no idea it would be because I wouldn't let it happen.

Blast-Off

Spinning, the planet was spinning. Swinging around its sun. Spinning like a top. The sun was spinning. The galaxy was spinning. The whole universe was spinning and I could feel it.

Everything was spinning.

But most importantly, something inside me was spinning. My head felt like it was splitting open. Mostly because it was. A blast of force had sent Jack spiraling backwards. Spiraling like the universe. My hair began to glow red, magma with a hint of yellow, red. I felt like crumpling to my knees, but I stood, no, I began to rise. I floated two feet above the rooftop with mighty gales torrenting around me and nearly pushing Jack back farther.

N.O. the force that I use to warp. Unlocked by accessing both halves of your brain. All of it, and then some. I reached into my hair. It melted around my hands like syrup. I reached deeper feeling for something, anything inside that might help. I found it.

A Gilmour Signature Stratocaster, black, six-stringed, electric guitar with a whammy bar and a pirate decal right above the bridge. I decided to call it, Davie.

With N.O. coursing through my veins and my musical instrument of death now gripped in both hands, we resumed our fight. He was still faster, but not by much. More importantly I was defying gravity. I was defying physics. My blows came and didn't stop coming. I couldn't feel the resistance of his sword against my guitar, all I could feel was...

Spinning.

I lifted my guitar for one final blow. I think I actually saw fear in Jack's eyes. His robot eyes actually quivered for a moment. He brought his blade up to block my blow. Perfect. I brought down the hammah, and smashed his sword in two. Jack dropped to his knees.

I pretended to obey gravity for a moment and stood over him.

"Where are the nanobots?"

"Kill me, just kill me and find out for yourself."

"Here." I tossed the refractor crystal from my jacket.

"What is this?"

A refractor crystal moron.

"Trade, give me the location of the nanobots and you can return to guarding this crystal on Reeva."

"They're on Reeva. Near the entrance to my facility."

"Remove the anti-warp device."

"It is deactivated. You can remove it later."

"Good luck."

I shoved the robot off the building with my foot. He jumped off the side and landed on another roof. My N.O. cooled and Davie evaporated in my hands. Jack wouldn't make it two days in that stale old power station. Something inside him, something small, had begun to spin. Life was awakening within his code. He'd drop the crystal off and move on, searching for answers to questions he didn't know.

"Quite a display, but you should hand over the crystal now."

Sayoko and three armed guards had me at gunpoint.

Until next time fellow pirates.