Sonic and Friends

About a week ago I believe I told you that I was trying out a writing community called Bibliofaction.  Don't go.  Most of the pieces were poorly written smut, which I expected to a degree after all I was looking for a Deviant Art of writing, but there was no system in place to rate works or sort through the bad ones.  I will continue my search... Elsewhere!

I wanted to mention Google Wave.  My friend who adores guinea pigs, in a totally no homo masculine way, mentioned that the internets were abuzz with this new leet software.  I looked into it and I was actually impressed this time.  Normally I don't approve of listening to hype, but I would advise everyone to keep there eye on this one.  It appears to be a cross between an Instant Messenger and a Document sharer.  It looks like its going to have a lot of functionality.  The makers are kinda stuck up about it, saying they think it's going to replace email, psh yea sure.  I do think it looks like a good product and if its free, hot dog!

Speaking of guinea-man, on Sixty's Blog he reviewed a bad game for a change of pace.  Now I'm not competitive or anything, *glance left and right* but I think I WILL review a bad game.  Okay, maybe a little competitive.


Sonic Heroes

Sonic and his many many obscure friends on a three dimensional adventure to... do... something... that involves Robotn- I mean EGGMAN!

Presentation - This game is in 3D, but the graphics are simple, way too glossy, and tend to clip, flicker and otherwise bug out.  The music is annoying and the theme song makes me want to get a bucket and hurl and then find someone who likes this game and dump it on them.  The cutscenes are clearly not synched up with the voice acting either, not that they'd be impressive if they were.

Presentation gets no points.

Entertainment - 3D Sonic has always struggled and this one is probably the best example.  The controls are stiff, the homing attacks make you bounce all over the place, and weird camera angles for dramatic effect change your controls and make you fall to your death.  Enemies in the game are no threat.  Hitting one makes you lose like 10 rings or something, really easy to get back.  Never the less, you will die all the time in this game.  The game is almost nothing but platforms placed over endless pits of death.  Even landing in deep water is instant death.  Strange camera angles don't make avoiding this death any easier.  An awkard team mechanic coupled with a leveling up system makes this game feel very not Sonic-esque.  When gameplay is the mainstay of a game, like it usually is in platformers, you really can't afford to mess it up.

Entertainment gets no points.

Literary Value - heh, ha, ha ha, HA HA HA HA Ha Ha, Ha, ha, ha, hoo, whoo, yea, good one.

No points.

Respect - Sonic was a big name series and still has a large following, but even most fans of Sonic will still agree, this game stinks.  This is not a highly acclaimed game, in fact its rather often the butt of many a joke.

Sonic Heroes gets NO RESPECT!


Sonic Heroes gets 0 rings / 4 and dies.

Final Notes - This is the only game that I wish I could get rid of.  Most bad games I get I just sell, but my six-year-old sister is a hoog Sonic fan and being six she has no taste in games.  The colorful graphics and repetitive theme song hypnotizes her young impressionable mind and she makes us play it for her sometimes.  We've almost got it completely out of her system by hiding it in the back of our games case, but sometimes she remembers or finds it.  As Roland of Gilead says, "For your father's sake," don't get this game.

Fall Break is coming up this week.  I'll be with my family and I may not update until I get back.  I'm not going to promise I won't, but don't be surprised if I don't.

I worked on my assembly language project today.  Assembly language is probably the most cryptic computer language I've had to deal with.  I have to use a reference card to remember the difference between load word and load immediate.  I got it mostly done today all that's left is some debugging.

And then...

We landed the ship on the asteroid's landing pad.  The place was an abandoned mining colony with old rusted digging equipment and space weathered buildings with faded Fraction Corps logos on them.  (It looks like pac man)

"Nanobot Command, Astro-Shield, Personal" I commanded the nanobots to form a space survival shield to protect me from the vacuum of space and provide me with compressed air to breath.  It's completely invisible.

Ash repeated my command.

She cut her hair back to its original short state where it comes down just below her ears.  It is still completely green, apparently she didn't have the dye to get the blond tips she had before.  Reminds me of Ryoko on Martian Successor Nadesico.

"Stop staring and lets get moving."

"Hey now, I'm the captain, I give the... orders."

She had already pushed off the ship towards one of the walk lines.  The gravity on the asteroid is too low to really walk so the workers put up ropes along the surface they could use to pull themselves along with.

The barren cold surface of the asteroid filled with the ruins of a long gone civilization gave me a bad feeling.  You have to think that people once lived and worked here every day.  Now there was nothing but silence.

"COMM CHECK!"

"Lord! Ash, do you have to yell?"

"I'll take that as an affirmative."

"Yea, yea, affirmative.  There's no one here, if your sis is hiding out here she's gotta be in the mines."

"Roger that, let's go."

"Aye."

We drifted into the darkness of the mines.  As we got deeper into the cave we realized neither of us had brought a flashlight.

"I think we should go back."

Just then, the lights flickered on.  Ash's eyes flickered on as well.

"She's here!"

"calm down, could've been motion detected or worse, could be someone else."

"Stop being pessimistic."

"Then stay on your toes!"

She stared at me for a moment with nothing but defiance in her puckered lips, but then she softened into a grudging compliance.

"Aye cap'n."

We continued down the mines until we reached a sector with a huge metal walkway leading deeper.  The walkway appeared to be for using magnetic boots to simulate gravity, but there were still walk lines along the ground.

"What d'you think these metal walkways are for?"

Ash pointed down the cave.

"That."

I followed her gaze to a towering metal colossus with drills for arms.  A mech, mining class, but big enough to impress anyone standing in its shadow.  Nearly ten stories tall, its drills were at least two stories tall by themselves.

"I want one."

Until next time fellow pirates.