Freebie Fun

Back on Earth...

In ongoing campaign to rip everything off of Ben's Bengineering blog, I have decided to add a new segment today.

Today's Freebie is Phage Wars 2

Phage Wars 2 by the prolific game developer Armor games is a real-time strategy game.  I say 'strategy' hesitantly.  While the game is very engaging, I wouldn't exactly call it thought provoking and once you get the knack of it, it's more of a click-fest than anything else.  None the less, the game is fun and addicting.

The idea is that you are a scientist who somehow controls the spread of a virus within his lab environment.  You are trying to design the perfect virus.  How do you design the perfect virus?  Why by beating all of the levels, I mean experiments.

As you see here, each level contains several 'cells'.  You can move your virus by clicking on the cell to move from and the cell to move to.  The idea is to spread out and occupy more cells than your opponent.  Once you own all the cells you win the level.

When you beat a level you earn a bonus that you can add to your virus by 'sequencing' its dna.  The system is very simple and the bonuses you earn make the game very easy.

My recommendations?
One, Play Phage Wars 2, it's fun.
Two, Don't waste too much time reading the readme, it's not as complicated as they want you to think it is.
Three, drink some sweet tea, you know you want to.

btw, if you liked my background, check out the webcomic, The Next Adventure

Sake on Tap

Back on the distant planet Reeva...

Arriving on the planet Reeva, we began our search for a cure to a terminal disease in the most logical location: a bar.

So, a pirate and three girls with multicolor hair walk into a bar.  I forget the punchline, but we sat down and I quickly started to feel uncomfortable.  I couldn't figure out why.  It wasn't my guests they were easy on the eyes to say the least.  It was the crowd at the bar.  They all looked vaguely Asian, but that wouldn't have bothered me.  They were all wearing darker clothes.  It was normal looking attire, but it was blacks, dark reds, and blues.  Mostly black clothes.

Our waitress came up wearing a kimono-like dress.
"You're not a pirate are you?"

"Ha, ha, heh, nonono no.  Not me, I'm just a friendly merchant."  I did not want to be found out that I was a pirate.  Normally I didn't care if people knew or not, but something was incredibly wrong here.

Ash turned to me, "So Captain Bob Citrsk.  Going to buy us girls a drink?"

I had managed to get access to my bank account.  I think I understand who stole my identity a few years ago to take money out of my account.  It was me, but that's all the better.  The less paradoxes I create the better off I'll be.  I still didn't want to pay for three girls drinks though.  That's a lot of money!  What was I gonna do though, say no?

"Of course, I can't hardly say no to you Ash."

"Not if you want a ride back to Kattox, that's for sure."  Ash said with a wink.

I continued looking around the room.  I noticed how observant and focus all the customers were, even if they were doing something else.  There was something wrong here and I still couldn't put my finger on it.

Then I saw one of the customers reading a newspaper with one hand and in the other hand he was fiddling with... a shuriken.

The waitress came back.
"The manager has asked that you not return to this bar.  You can stay for today, but this is a ninja-only bar and civillians aren't typically invited."

Great.  Surrounded by ninjas.  I needed to get out of here, it wouldn't be long before one of these ninjas smelled my pirate-ness or however they tell.  They can always tell.  I was about to ask the girls to get out of dodge with me, but all of a sudden the show started.

"Hello ninjas and ninjettes.  My name's Mitarashi and are you ready to rock!"

Might as well stay for the show I suppose, we had already ordered drinks after all.  I decided to ask our friendly waitress for info.

"We're looking for someone who knows how to heal Ask Reeves. You know anyone?"

"Well, Otto might be able to help you.  He knows healing jutsu, but you'll have to ask Mitarashi."

"The girl on stage?"

"No, the one on the moon." The waitress rolled her eyes in exasperation.

As the waitress walked off, she began mimicking me.
"Naw, no I'm not a pirate, durh."

Final Fantasy VII Comprehensive Opinion

 
Back on Earth...

In-Depth Review of Final Fantasy VII

Warning: The following review is extremely opinionated.  If you have a complaint and want to be a whiny little baby about it...
GET OVER IT!

Naw, I'm playin'.  Critique is welcome; I'm used to da hate-ahs.


Final Fantasy 1+6

Final Fantasy VII, best game ever?  No.  I'm not here thrash the poor thing, but don't expect me to idolize its very existence.  I do however, think this game deserves a more detailed review than just any other game.  I will be discarding my out of 4 system temporarily to give this a detailed score out of 100.

Since everybody and their grandmother knows what's good about FF7, let me go over the negative points first.


...Con 1: Bad Visual Effects...

Mixed Perspective: (-8)
I'm talking about the literal visual perspective of the game.  First off, hardly any two areas had the same perspective making the transitions between rooms disorienting.  If it wasn't bad enough, many of the rooms were at such an odd angle that it was hard to tell whether you were moving up or down within the same room.  Some of these areas almost made me naseous with how distorted everything seemed.

The disjointed rooms didn't add to the overall feeling of knowing what a place looks like either.  I'd be just as lost playing this game a second time as I was the first time I played.

Poor Contrast: (-4)
Many of the areas in FF7 were dimly lit.  I know they had an artist theme running, but when being artistic gets in the way of comprehending what you're seeing, you have a problem.  Whenever I play dark games, I'll always turn the brightness up on my TV because frankly I find a lack of contrast hurts the game rather than adds to the effect.  I tried with FF7, but it was more than just dimness.  This game has poor contrast, period.

3D Graphics: (-6)
This game came out during a time when game developers were testing the waters of 3D graphics and games suffered for it.  3D graphics of this time were bad.  I don't just mean bad by today's standards either, they were bad then.  3D graphics didn't look half as good as 2D graphics of the time, but since it was the "future of gaming" producers had to make their games 3D.  FF7 is probably one of the best examples of this period of time.  Since people usually complain about how judging this game on its 3D graphics isn't fair, let me make my point clear.

This game would've looked better with 2D sprites.


...Con 2: Boring Gameplay...
This isn't the most boring gameplay ever.  In fact, I would say the gameplay is averagely exciting.  Neither exciting, nor boring, but rather somewhere in between.

Random Battles: (-6)
Step, step, battle syndrome.  This game has it as bad as the original FF.  I loathe random battles.  When you make them frequent, without purpose, and with repetitve enemies, it only makes it worse.  Does this make FF7 a bad game? No. Aren't there other good games with random battles? Yes. So what's wrong with it? Nothing, but there's nothing right about it either: No improvement, innovation, or interest. It's old, tired, and lame.

Sensless Enemies: (-3)
This game is a serious game.  I don't think many people would argue with me there.  However, many of the enemies in this game were silly, whimsical, and most importantly out-of-place.  Enemies hardly ever followed a theme, exceptions being Shinra soldiers in military facilities, and ice baddies on whatever that mountain was that you snowboarded down.
It created more of a rift between the real game, and the random battles.  It made the random battles seem even more trivial and more of a chore when all you were doing is fighting pokemon and floating boxes.

Rediculous Optional Material: (-2)
Thank heavens the main game wasn't too hard.  I'll get to the good stuff later though.  The optional sidequests, optional bosses, and secret moves require so much tedious work that I can't see how anyone gets enjoyment from earning them.  There are so many better things you can be doing with your life than getting Cloud to level 99 so that he can cast Knights of the Round three times in a row.


...Con 3: Bad Parts of Plot...

Being Convoluded: (-4)
The plot of this game was confusing, intricate but confusing.  Many parts of the plot were conflicting but I have been lead to believe that this is on purpose and makes sense on analysis.  However, I still think there are some pieces of the plot that are straight up conflicting, mostly dialog between Tifa and Cloud.  I think the problem lies in two things: some parts of major plot are contained in sidequests and optional gameplay, and secondly the game never sets you down and tells you exactly what happened during the most confusing and conflicting parts.
Some people actually LIKE this fact.  I can sort of understand why, but they are sick people with twisted senses of entertainment.  Just teasing, but honestly I don't like the confusion and ambigiousness of the plot.

The Ending: (-2)
If you've seen the end of the game, then you know why this is here.

Cait Sith: (-5)
Red XIII was almost as bad, but Cait Sith bothers me more, I don't know why.  Cait Sith walks up to the party and pretty much joins without reason or consent.  Does this make sense to anyone?  Cait Sith uses a megaphone as a weapon.  He's a giant stuffed moogle with a cat on his head that you find out is secretly a robot.  What is he doing in this game?  He's not even a secret character, he's a main character!  People who complain about how Goofy talks philosophy with Sora in Kingdom Hearts have no grounds to defend this part of FF7.


Now, after two pages of burning the ears off of Square fanboys, I will now highlight the good things about FF7

...Pro 1: Good Presentation Effects...

Visual Theme: (+12)
The techno-fantasy gloom and doom look of FF6, I mean FF7, was interesting and different from  most  RPGs to this point in time.  The artwork was moody, enchanting, and very thematic.  The characters were unique and easily recognizable.  Their sprites suffered, but their face pictures and overall design was creative and enduring.  I think the theme and design of this game inspired its predecessors more than any other aspect of the game, besides it sales numbers.

Music: (+15)
Best Final Fantasy music in the series.  This games blend of Rock, Jazz, and Industrial was always on cue with the plot and catchy to boot.  Though I didn't like the remix of the classic victory music.  This was a small enough detail that it's not important though.  The music in FF7, without a doubt, rocked.

FMV: (+10)
Though not impressive by today's standards, these FMVs were ahead of their time.  In fact, I couldn't get the things to play right on my PS1, but when I threw the game into a PS2 they worked great.  These cutscenes were ahead of their own system.  Drowning, I mean burying Aeris after her instantly fatal stab in the gut was much more emotional in cutting-edge cinema and every guy can appreciate Tifa's torso growth in the scene at Northern Crater.

...Pro 2: Well-Designed Parts of Gameplay...

Materia System: (+10)
The materia system was one of the best RPG growth systems I've seen.  It was customizable and interchangeable throughout the game.  It kept everyone's unique character qualities while allowing you freedom of manipulating their battle styles.  It was cool.

Mini-Games: (+15)
The best mini-games of any RPG I've ever played.  I will admit willingly that FF7s mini-games were better than Chrono Trigger's.  It's true.  I'd rather play that motorcycle chase all day than play the main game.  If other Final Fantasies had picked up on how well FF7 blended their mini-games into their plot, how they made them action oriented and fast paced, and how they made them replayable later in the game, then we'd have a lot more entertaining RPGs out there.  This game didn't have any stupid card games, no underwater soccer, and it didn't have you running around slapping posters on walls.  This had good mini-games that served as a refreshing break from the dull monotony of pressing the fight button.

Few other good parts: (+10 total)
- (+3) Active Time Battle made this game seem less turn based and more action packed.
- (+2) Epic Summon Sequences, though not as good the fiftieth time, were still really sweet.
- (+3) Limit Breaks were satisfying, useful, and had cool cutscenes
- (+2) the Roleplay was thought provoking at times, e.g. dressing Cloud as a girl, pretending to be a Shinra soldier, solving that impossible combination on the space shuttle. (only thing I regret not doing)

...Pro 3: Good Parts of the Story...

Sephiroth: (+15)
This game's villain was well developed.  By the end of this game, I almost hated him myself.  He was a constant part of the story, but you never fought him.  This made you familiar with him, but it made it so you had no idea how powerful he was.  He had a unique character design that makes fangirls drool over how gay he looks (never understand this) and had an absolutely epic theme song.  I must say that the fight with Sephiroth in Kingdom Hearts spoiled me and I wasn't as impressed with the final battle as I thought I would be.  However, if I had played FF7 first, it probably woulda been awesome.

Hojo: (+16)
This game's real villain was even more dasterdly.  This guy's sick twisted schemes masterminded almost all the bad things that happened in the game.  Sephiroth was dark, ominous, and crazy.  Hojo was pure evil!

***Spoilers***
Aeris Dies: (+7)
This actually threw me for a loop.  Not that I hadn't been told that she dies, but that I didn't realize how quickly in the game she dies.  The attachment they build on Aeris is almost stronger than any of the other female characters and yet they kill her off relentlessly.  It's awesome!


--Final Scoring--

Mixed Perspective: (-8)
Poor Contrast: (-4)
3D Graphics: (-6)
Random Battles: (-6)
Sensless Enemies: (-3)
Rediculous Optional Material: (-2)
Being Convoluded: (-4)
The Ending: (-2)
Cait Sith: (-5)
(-40)

Visual Theme: (+12)
Music: (+15)
FMV: (+10)
Materia System: (+10)
Mini-Games: (+15)
Few other good parts: (+10)
Sephiroth: (+15)
Hojo: (+16)
Aeris Dies: (+7)
(+110)

(70/100)
or
Final Fantasy VII gets a...

 VII / X

In conclusion:
I.M.H.O.

FF7 is NOT the best game ever.
FF7 is NOT the best RPG ever.
FF7 was NOT the best RPG of its time.
FF7 is NOT the best Final Fantasy game,
But FF7 IS the best of the main numbered Final Fantasy game.
FF7 is better than FF10.
FF7 is better than FF1.
FF7 may even be better than FF6.

There you have it ladies and gentlemen, my opinion of FF7.

Until next time fellow pirates.

Last time on Dragon Pirate Z

Back on Earth...

On a minor note, I completed the New Super Mario Bros.  Not the new one for the Wii, but the one on Nintendo DS.  Best game I've played on the DS ever.  4/4.  I'll give it a more proper review later.

For all my dozens of adoring fans reading my blog, I wanted to let you know.  If you haven't been following my Captain Harlock-esque adventures in the deepest reaches of outer space, now's the time.  In this post, I will recap all the important things to know.  WITH PICTURES!!!

Back in space...

As me, Ash, Lee, and Sayoko enjoyed a short space flight from the planet Kattox to its neighboring planet Reeva, I reflected on the people, places, and things I've seen recently.  I recorded this information on a Google Doc so I could pull it up when I arrived back on Earth and post it to my blog.

Recently I was pulled backwards through time by just a few years.  The reason for my trip and the exact person who did it are still up for debate, but I must seperate the information into stuff from the past I currently inhabit and the future I came from.

The Current Past

Biographical Information

Ash and Lee

Twin sisters of Kattox, these girls are the daughters of an energy tycoon, owner of Fraction Industries.  Ash likes to keep her hair shorter and is more outspoken than her mysterious sister Lee.  Lee claims to have been responsible for sending me back through time.  I am under the impression that her future self sent me backwards through time.

Ash and Lee's Father (Name never mentioned)
[No picture available]
President, founder, and owner of Fraction Industries, this man is wealthy and has two beautiful daughters.  However, he suffers from Askreeves Syndrome Intergalactic Format, a virus that usually only causes common cold symptoms, but in a few rare cases is terminal.  I have agreed to help Lee find a cure to ASIF that may exist on the planet Reeva.

Sayoko

Childhood friend of Ash and Lee, Sayoko was on a vacation cruise when I crashed into the sea after time travelling.  Lee's future self gave a cryptic message saying that I will be responsible for Sayoko's eventual rise to the corrupt head of Fraction Industries.


Locations

Kattox - Prosperous planet widely known for Fraction Industries leading producer of Refractor crystals, an energy source with a nearly limitless output.

Reeva - Currently prosperous planet covered by 80% oceans.  The people of Reeva are very industrious, but are heavily dependent on Refractor Crystal power.


The Previous Future

Bios

Ash

In the future, Ash has become a member of my pirate crew, the only member so far.  She displayed the ability to be reborn like a phoenix in a previous fight in which she died.

Lee - In the future, Lee was transformed into a Cthulu monster, but we restored her human form through battle.  Before that, Lee had been in charge of Fraction Industries, but after reports that she activated a WMD that destroyed the planet of Reeva, she was quickly replaced by Sayoko.

Sayoko - Most recent head of Fraction Industries, Sayoko is a devious and possibly dangerous business woman who may have had a hand in the destruction of Reeva.

Jack Haley

A ninja-robot charged with protecting an important Refractor crystal, Jack lost a duel with me when I used the awesome power of N.O.  In the prescence of this infinitely expansive power, I believe Jack has gained human-like consciousness.  I have not seen him since that day.

Locations

Reeva - In the future, Reeva is a decimated wasteland uncolonizable by humans while its sister planet Kattox remains stable.


When we arrive on Reeva we will search for information concerning the cure to ASIF.  I'm hoping that if I continue to follow the events that are unfolding I will discover a way to return to my own time.  That way I can get back to my ship.  I miss her.

Until next time fellow pirates.

P.S.
Pictures are all stolen property of some poor souls on Deviant Art, various artists.  I edited some green hair into some of them ;)

Top Tier Tiny Terror!

Presenting
The One and Only
Small and Sinister
Master of  the Microscopic
Tiny Tyrant of all Time...
DRUM ROLL PLEASE!

Badabada

Badabada

Badabada

Badabadabada

Badabadabada

Badabadabada
Badabadabada
Badabadabada
Badabadabada
Badabadabada

Master Jinx himself

Probably the second hardest boss in Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, Jinx is tiny.  It's hard to make out what he is and left highly to interpretation.  He appears to have a red cape and a funky green hairdo, but to be honest, it's anybody's guess.  With a plethora of instant kill moves, many of which are difficult to block, this little guy means to show you up not once, not twice, but three times.  That's only after you've earned the honor to meet him through battle.

Thanks for tuning in, this concludes Tiny Terror Week.  Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Tiny Terror Five

Half-Life 2 had some notably scary enemies.  Headcrabs were among the smallest.  However, the scariest part of Half-Life 2 for me was Ravenholm and its poison headcrabs.  These things dropped you down to 1 life instantly.  Granted the life recovered slowly, but they made this nasty hiss/rattle sound and it freaked me out.

Tomorrow is the Final Tiny Terror.  The Tiniest, Terroryest Tiny Terror of all.  Look forward to it.

Tiny 4 Terror

The single most broken character to play in Timesplitters as is the monkey.  He's fast, he's too short to hit, and he's got guns.  I really have nothing else to say.  This guy is scary because he's small.  Oh and he has guns.

Wait, I thought of something scarier.

The Ninja Monkey.

Tiny Terror Three

The last Metroid is in captivity.  The galaxy is at peace.

That is until PETA comes after Samus for exterminating the entire metroid species for the 50 billionth time.  Now some metroids are not tiny, not tiny at all.  Metroid Prime from its namesake game fills an entire two story room.  However, when you say Metroid to a fan, the first thing they think of are the little ones.

Vicious little space vampires that suck your life force dry, these foes are usually encountered late game, and are by no means instant death, but they drain your health faster than anything else in the game.  Samus Aran, star of these critters titular games, is often tasked with killing all of them, over and over again.  Despite their vicious nature and her indiscriminate genocide of their kind, fans always tend to remember the soft spot that Samus Aran had for one little baby metroid in Metroid II that was a major part of the plot for the best game in the series, Super Metroid (Metroid III).

Tiny Terror Two

Throughout the Final Fantasy series there have been some keepers and ever since it's debut in FF5, the tonberry has been one of them.  Deceptively easy looking, this short fellow will kill you... run... oh but swipe a megalixer first and then morph it to a ribbon.  Then run.

Tiny Terror Week; Blog Response

Back on Earth...

My friend the Bengineer recently hosted a Big Bosses week, and I think he did a decent job with his choices.  But my 1-up manship knows no bounds, therefore in response I decided to do my own Big Bosses week.  Feeling that was redundant, I now have a new theme.  Tiny Terror week.  This is for all those baddies in videogames, though short of stature, did not lack deadly skill.  I have six wonders of the microscopic video game world that I will be releasing from now, til Friday.

Starting with...

Kamikaze Grunt!  Grunts from the Halo series are short, but usually not deadly.  Even the elite grunt forces are usually not much of a challenge.  But in Halo 3, our grunt friends take on a new hobby: suicide bombing.  The only thing scarier than seeing one of these guys lit up is hearing the bone-chilling screams of their highly similar counterparts from the game Serious Sam.

Friday 13th

New Format

Back on Earth...

I have decided to work a new format in to keep my blog posts shorter and more frequent.  I think my lengthy irregular posts may be obnoxious to some of my more dedicated fans.  Not to mention, it really just makes for a blog that's hard to keep up with.  From now on, I'll be premising things with "Back on Earth..." or "Back on that alien planet."

Several weeks ago I tried a amateur writer's site.  I didn't like it all that much.  I was going to try another one, but I decided I'd try something different instead.  I've started going to a play by post RPG website.  I have not yet started playing a game, but the features they offer seem to be very promising.  I applied for three different RPGs and I recieved a response from one so far.  Not an invite, but a response none-the-less and I just started yesterday.

Wizard and Nook

This is almost going to be a shameless advertisement, but I'm drooling here.  I WANT one of these.  I present to you, the Barnes and Nobles "Nook" E-Book Reader.  The price tag is $260.  I can't afford it now, but that is not bad, not bad at all.  Why is that pricetag not bad?  I'll tell you why.  This thing uses the same eInk technology as the Amazon Kindle and all other self-respecting e-books out now, and it comes with a color touch screen located at the bottom that can function for typing or browsing through color covers of books on sale.  Also, the thing doubles as an MP3 player, which I believe the Kindle can do as well, but still, that's a nice bonus.  I've been trying to get back in the habit of reading more and as such my interest for e-books has been sparked, any e-book, but I really do like the style of this thing.  Since I'm not gonna have the money for this thing anytime soon, I'll be watching this product like a hawk and I've got high hopes.  Maybe I shouldn't jinx it.  Good news is that when I /do/ have enough money for this thing, the price will probably be even lower.


Book review:


The Dark Tower I-III
The Gunslinger, The Drawing of Three, The Wastelands

by Stephen King

In the kingdom of Gilead, the law is upheld by the Gunslingers.  Trained from childhood in how to fight, how to kill, and taught to protect the weak and uphold the laws of the land, these gunslingers resemble the cowboy heroes of our western movies.  Armed with carefully crafted revolvers and their own deadly skill, in the world of the Dark Tower, a world that is moving on, these men are the law.

And that is "Ka"

I've been reading the Dark Tower series, I'm currently on the fourth book, "Wizard and Glass" but I thought I do a mid-term review if you will.  I'll give my final review later, much later, when I finish seventh and last book of the series.

I would like to note that this is the first book I've ever read from renowned horror novelist Stephen King.  I'm not a huge fan of horror, it's not that I don't like the genre, it's just not the one I pick up first.  This series is not horror, but a fantasy novel.  A dark fantasy, but still not a horror novel.


Voice     - Works of fiction aren't just about what you write, but how you write them.  Mr. King has a well developed piece of literature here, but the writing style is really nothing unique.  The chapter organization in Drawing of Three was unique, but it wasn't until the third book that I began to see a unique writing pattern develop.  However, the third book did pick it up.  Adding more poems and more importantly using a poem as a running theme and referencing it.  Otherwise the actual voice of the author is simple, easy to understand, but nothing out of the ordinary.

Voice gets Half-Cred: 0.5


Imagery - Painting pictures with words is the name of the game.  Mr. King knows what he's doing with descriptions.  Desolate wastes, deserted towns, montrous creatures, elaborate gunfights, and so much more.  The world Mr. King creates in the Dark Tower will draw you in and keep you wanting more.  Mixtures of modern, western, post-apocalyptic, and ancient themes create a sometimes awkward, but always intriguing landscape that always changes right when you think you finally get it.

The Imagery in this novel gets Full-Cred: 1.0


Story     - It may seem redundant to list story as factor in a novel review, but some books aren't about the story and are more focus on describing something or creating a certain feeling.  This book, however, is not.  Mr. King presents us with a clear and ever-present goal, The Dark Tower.  Roland of Gilead has been searching for the Dark Tower for ages and he continues to do so in our fateful tale of Khef, Ka, and Ka-Tet. 
The story seems to take us on a roller coaster through a horrific wonderland of terrible pasts and even more terrible futures.  Though I'd like to say the story is what keeps me going in the book, I'm afraid that's not exactly true.  While wanting to know what happens next is on my mind, I often find that I have no idea, no guess as to what will happen next, and that doesn't give me much pull.  Instead, learning the secrets of Gilead and Mid-World (Tolkien anyone?) are what really drives me on.

Story gets an almost there: 0.7


Respect - Two words, Stephen King.  That is only respect factor I'm giving here.  I think most people in America could tell you who Stephen King is.  However, I highly doubt most people know about The Dark Tower.  More than I expected though.  My friend who developing a time machine to take him back to the 80's and my mother's nerdy fiancee both have some or all of the books and they aren't even big Stephen King fans or anything.

Dark Tower, you need a little respect, 0.5

Overall:  I am into this series and I can't get out.  Stephen King has my attention and he's been doing a good job of keeping it.  He recently used the underhanded tactic of a cliff-hanger ending to draw me on to the fourth book, but overall I'm still interested.  My final remarks will come when I'm through.

For now, Dark Tower gets 2.7 delicious popkins out of 4.

I meant to post this yesterday, but I'm really busy this week.  I've got a MIPS program due on Thursday, the weekly CAPA on Weds, an English paper I'll be starting shortly after I post this, advisement and an internship opportunity that I have to submit the application for by Thurs.  I'll be ready for the weekend this time.  I'll have to think of something fun to do.  Get my vertically challenged friend (I'm so mean) to hit the bar with me and pick up chicks.


And then...

"I know you're from the future.  I sent you back in time."

Lee explained because she saw the look of surprise in my face, not complete surprise, just unexpected interest.

"I have to admit, I'm surprised.  I thought you didn't know that you sent me back in time."

"Yea I... Wait, what?  Why would I not know that I sent you back in time?"

"Because, I thought your future self sent me back in time."

"Did she?  Hmm...."

Lee became lost in thought.  Her long green hair much shinier and better combed than her sister Ash's short-cut tossled look.  It blew gracefully in the wind of the Kattox seas.  I interrupted her wandering mind.

"I won't know how to cure your father.  I'm not a doctor Jim, I'm a pirate."

"What?"

"I-uh-I mean I'm just a simple merchant, I don't know anything about biology."

"Yes but maybe you've heard of it.  My father has Askreeves Syndrome Intergalactic Format."

"Oh yea, there was a big panic about ASIF.  It acted like the common cold, but in rare cases it was lethal."

"My father is one of those cases."

"They found something for it, but I don't know what it was."

"Please!  Anything..."

I strained my brain for options.  Her face was so sad, I think she was tearing up even.  I was her last option, there was nothing else.  She had literally had to time travel to save her dying father.  But maybe...

"Listen, I did hear that it was an alchemist on Reeva who first discovered the cure.  That's all I know, but I have a distinct set of skills that are best suited for finding things that are hard to find.  I'll go with you and your sister to Reeva and we'll look for the cure.  Together."

"No you won't, I won't allow it."

Uh, oh.  It was daddy, and he was in protect his baby mode.  Lee looked completely horrified.  It was embarrasment first, but that turned into fear at the recognition that it might be her own father that stops her from saving him.  They began arguing about who's safety was important and how she had to do something and how she was old enough to make her own decisions and how even if he wouldn't allow it she would still do it.  Eventually he gave in, he agreed to let me take his two daughters on a dangerous mission to an alien planet and even gave Lee access to his money and spaceships.  I like this guy.

"I'm coming too."

Sayoko stood in the most defiant pose she could get with her frilly mini-skirt and tube-top.  Lee decided she'd take this one.

"You shouldn't put your life on the line.  It's not your father at risk."

"I don't care, I'm coming.  You can't stop me, and neither can you."

This was directed at me.  I shrugged, it didn't matter to me whether she came or not.  In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't already destined to be.

You will help her rise
You will help her fall

"Fine Sayoko, come with us.  But don't start crying when it gets tough."

Sayoko responded with a you-know-me-better-than-that glare.

Me and three girls on an adventure through time and space.  I could get used to this.

Until next time fellow pirates.

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time

Today I will be reviewing a movie that I watched yesterday.  I've been sleeping strange hours lately, I'm trying to get back on schedule.  Anyway, my friend Dave gave me this movie a while back and I didn't get around to watching it til now.  Glad I did though.

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time

This Science-Fiction Romance Anime is an extremely well produced feature length film based on an old Japanese Novel first serialized in a magazine in the 60's, I believe.  The premise is pretty self-explanatory.  The girl begins abusing the time travel as most teenage girls would if they came upon the ability, but learns that her actions can have unseen consequences.

Presentation - This movie's artwork is amazing.  The scenery is beautifully animated, the character's animation is smooth and very expressive, and the imagery used when time travelling gives a sense of grandeur that expresses the vastness of time itself.  The sound track is not very varied, but the pieces they do include are so well composed that some people would go to tears just listening to the music. (*ahem* not me, of course, too... manly for that, yea)

Presentation gets full marks.

Minor note, I watched this in Japanese with English subtitles.

Plot - The time travel appears simple at first, but as new rules arise and other characters become involved, the science fiction aspect of the story thickens.  The premise of the time travel is interesting too, as the girl physically leaps through time and can't do it unless she has a good running start.  However, the main focus of the story really centers around the relationships between the characters, especially the romantic ones.  I won't lie, it's kinda mushy and the characters act their awkward age.  However, I found the way the relationships interacted was very compelling, love triangles, etc.

Plot gets full marks.

Acting - Normally this quality will be more self-explanatory.  In an animated film like this one I will be discussing the characterization and the voice acting since these components basically replace the acting you would have in a normal movie.  In this movie, the characterization was well done.  The characters look like normal people so it may be hard to tell some characters apart at first.  Especially the girls for some reason.  As the movie progresses there shouldn't be any confusion.  Every character is well developed, except maybe the main girl's parents, they don't get much screen time.  She confides with her Aunt, whom she calls Auntie Witch, the most of any adult.
I thought the voice acting was good, but I don't speak Japanese.  None of the characters voices grated on my nerves and some of the characters inflections added to the humor.

Acting gets full marks.

Respect - This movie is not well known and didn't even sell very well in the box office in Japan.  However, the movie received several awards in the film festivals in which it was released and I bet if they released it here in the states, the anime crowd would eat it up.  I'll be giving this hidden jewel half-cred for being well respected among the critics who have seen it.

Time-Leaping Girl you get a little Respect, (0.5)

Overall
Great movie, really touching, but not all sad, kinda mushy, with a cool premise.  Find it on the internet, well worth the time.  Also, I just found out, it's available on Netflix, dubbed and subbed too probably, if you have dub you usually have sub.

The Girl Who Leapt Through Time gets 3.5/4 paradoxes.


Btw, time paradoxes never come up in this movie.


I am now going to get a soda from the kitchen.

And then...

I chowed down on the generous portions of Japaneseish seafood native to Kattox.  I assumed I was on Kattox having landed in the middle of Ash's family.  I made up a story about how my merchant vessel had been attacked by pirates, ironically, and I don't remember much after that.  They all seemed to buy it.  Lee especially agreed with me, making logical conclusions about why that story made sense.  Sayoko seemed to innocently place her faith in my story and Ash didn't seem to care.  Her father was the only one who actually seemed to consider it, but I think he came to the conclusion that I didn't seem dangerous.

They told me about Fraction industries and growing concerns with the planet Reeva.  I wondered if I should attempt to stop the massacre of the people of Reeva.  That would be a big time paradox, which I may have mentioned before can cause severe emotional and psychological trauma.  On the other hand, it was an entire planet of people going to die.  Later that night, Lee asked to talk to me on the deck of the boat.

"Captain Bob?"

*snicker*

"Yes Lee?"

"I need your help.  My father is dying."

This was a half-shock to me.  I realized that Lee had inherited Fraction Industries from her father in the future, but the man looked in perfect health.  He was the spitting image of the American dream: wealthy, muscular, and father of two hot teenage girls.

"I know he doesn't look like it, but he has a rare disease from Reeva that we have no cure for."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Well I... I was kind of hoping that... I dunno, I don't know how to ask this."

"I'm listening."

"Research for this disease is well-funded and new ways to treat the illness are advancing rapidly."

"That's good."

"Not fast enough though.  The cure for the disease is unlikely to show up before my father kicks the bucket."

"You shouldn't give up."

"I didn't, I'm not I mean.  Even if it was impossible to come up with a cure in time, I wasn't going to let that stop me from keeping my father alive."

"What exactly are you getting at?"

"I was hoping YOU could get me the cure."

"Me?"

"I was hoping they had it, you know...

...in your time."

Until next time fellow pirates.

Mixed Bag today

Okay, my friends and I have been tossing around the idea of doing a podcast.  Currently, we have no theme.  We were just planning on talking about each of our specialties.  I've been trying to come up with a good one, but I haven't thought of much yet.  However, I had this idea and I thought I'd put it here.

Infinite To Do List

Every show we'll have ten topics, (We can split them up among the three of us) and we discuss whatever it is we're talking about and end it with a To Do List item.  For example, somebody does a quick review of River City Ransom and after they finish, they say, "#7 on our To Do List today, Play River City Ransom."

I like ten because it makes it seem like a top ten list.  We could each take three and all agree on the last one or we could take turns doing the last one.


Let's play Name That Game.

I'm going to post some pics of some SNES games that I think are kinda obscure, prove to me how unobscure they are by guessing them.

Just kidding, on to the real pics.

This remake of an old NES strategy game is actually pretty fun to play.

This action-rpg is the second in a series of games that you wouldn't be able to tell they were a series unless you played them.

This Lucas-Arts classic is how mech games should play even with fun multiplayer deathmatch action.

Okay, enough fun and games.  The weekend is upon me, and it feels like this week has flown by.  Today I can't say that I did anything interesting.  Class as usual, but sometimes it's good to get a break.

And then.


I awoke to find myself on a wooden sailing ship.  It wasn't mine though, this one was actually at sea.  The sky overhead was bright, but not as bright as the smiling face of the green haired girl standing over me.  Not Ash though, Lee maybe?  She looked too young to be Lee, after all Lee was the last thing I saw before waking up here.

"I'm so glad you're alive.  When we fished you out of the water, I thought we were dragging up a dead body."

"Yeah, I'm glad I'm not dead too.  Say, where are we?"

"This is my father's fishing boat.  We're on vacation.  It was gonna be a real bummer to go home early cause we found a dead body, but your like, alive."

I sat up and looked around, there were two other girls and a man busy with boat stuff.  I figured he was their father, big guy, probably shouldn't hit on these girls.

One of the girls was Ash, but she looked much younger.  I can only assume I must have been sent back in time.  I found that I couldn't warp either.  The other girl had blue hair that bounced with the wind.

"Sayoko."

I said it out loud, I hadn't meant to.  She looked completely taken back at the fact that I knew her name.  I couldn't tell what happened after that because I passed out again.

I woke up in bed.  I was still at sea.  I sat up, but I was sore and I groaned from the pain.  Sayoko was sitting across from the bed, thinking about something.  She heard me groan and turned to stare straight at me.  Our eyes locked for almost half a minute and then...

She smiled.

"You've come back to us.  Are you feeling alright?"

"A little sore, I'll live."

"Who are you?  Where are you from?"

"I'm Captain..."

pause.

"Yes?"

"Captain... Bob."

"Bob?"

"Yea, Bob... Citsrk." (Where had I heard that?)

"Welcome aboard Bob.  Um, Bob have we met before?"

"Sure.  You don't remember me?  You know, from that thing, last year?"

"Oh yea, the dance party."

"Yeah, love me some dancing.  I could use some food too, I'm starving.  I'll gladly pay you when I can get to a bank."

"Don't be silly, come with me.  You can tell us all about your adventures over dinner."

Well, not ALL about them.

Until next time fellow pirates.

btw, I found this picture on dA.  It completely reminds me of how I think Sayoko should look.

Captain Comic

As a kid, my selection of games was limited.  I never owned much more than an old computer and an SNES.  We just didn't have that much money to throw around.  I always seemed to be one generation behind.  My friends all had N64s and I was still working with my SNES, I finally got an N64 and everybody was playing PS2s, I get a PS2 and everybody's got 360s.  I never minded though, older systems have a bigger variety of games.  I've been hoping for some time now that game developers will go back and make some games like they used to.  I now see that 360 arcade developers are picking up on that same vibe and doing just that.

Well, that was a long exposition just to say this.  I'm going to show you one of my old favorites.  This was one of the first platformers on PC.  It was a really fun game that is available as shareware.  Not sure if it'll run on modern computers as it was a DOS game, but you should give it a try because it is definitely worth it.













Captain Comic (MS-DOS)

You are Captain Comic, the fireball throwin', space jumpin' defender of space justice!  The planet Tambi is in need of your help.  You have to find and "recover" the treasures that were stolen by an odd assortment of animals and inanimate objects that all want to Kill You!

Presentation - Heavily pixelated graphics, MIDI sound effects, no background music, and only one attack graphic (fireball).  This game's pres is old school and not the reason you play this game.  It's not so poorly done that it keeps you from enjoying the other aspects, but not worth getting credit for.

No points for presentation

(Note: Some reviewers prefer to review the graphics of a game based on the graphics of that time.  I don't think this is helpful.  I'm not reviewing this game for the benefit of someone in 1988, I'm hoping someone will read this sometime in the present and I think they should know what they're getting into.  Also, it's not like we were blind to the fact that our graphics weren't exactly life-like.  Graphics may have improved over the past twenty years, but our eyes haven't, or have they?  If an old game I review had superior graphics at one time, I may give it credit to recognize the quality of work put into it, but otherwise I'll be reviewing the graphics as I see 'em.)

Entertainment - This game is not only one of the first platformers on PC, it's one of the oldest "sandbox" games I've ever played.  You can literally go almost anywhere from the start of the game.  There are some upgrades like jump boots and a teleport wand that are required to reach some areas of the game, but otherwise it's completely free range.  The beginning may seem like it's linear, but that only lasts for a little while.  The game is challenging at first, but as you get used to the jumping and enemy movement patterns it becomes much easier.  Gameplay is the highlight of this game, and I believe it has the best gameplay of 1988 PC games.  That's right, this game gets PC Game-of-the-Year 1988 in my book.  For its excellent gameplay, I'm going to give this game Bonus Points.

Entertainment gets an extra-credit 1.5

Literary Value - This arcade style game has almost no plot.  There might have been one in the Readme file or something.  The enemies are killer bees, beach balls, and blind frogs?  Colorful, fun to play, but it don't make a lick of sense.  It is kinda humorous, but only because it's ridiculously arbitrary.

Literary gets no points

.

Respect - This game was not popular and its sequel is almost completely unknown.  I haven't even played it.  Obscure, oh yeah, least I think so.  Maybe if they ever remake it the respect for this original would go up, but I wouldn't count on it.

Sorry Captain, no respect (but I still luv ya!)

Conclusion:  The gameplay is the only worthy factor here.  It was tons o' fun back in the day and it's still fun today.  I'm not gonna call it a masterpiece or a classic.  Heck, I hesitate to call it a good game.  Still, give it a try, it needs yo lovin'.

Captain Comic gets 1.5 Blastola Colas out of 4.

I went to the South Carolina State Fair last weekend.  That's why I haven't posted anything over the weekend.  I had a deep fried Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.  I love those things.


And then...

The floating body that had formed from the towering Cthulu that we had just defeated floated in front of us in the vacuum of space.  Thinking quickly, I commanded the nanobots to extend my astroshield to cover our new guest.  Ash had lost all the cool she had built up a few minutes ago.  She was chattering nervously about something, I couldn't understand her because she was talking too fast.

"...ifnohospitalthenyougottawarporsomethin"

"ASH, shut up... please?"

Amazingly the girl was alive.  I used my nanobots to magnetize myself back to the mech.  I imagine the miners who used to work here, probably had a similar system.  Back inside the mech, Ash kept starting to say something, but then deciding not to.  We moved towards the light I saw deeper in the asteroid.

"What! You can't go deeper in.  We've gotta get to civilization."

"She's been living here for this long, I bet she'll make it back in her own home."

"If she dies..."

"Fine. She won't, but yeah if she does then feel free to do whatever you need to do to me."

Ash was willing to trust that.  She figured I didn't have a death wish.  A normal human wouldn't have made it as long as this girl had in the vacuum of space.  She could survive in an anaerobic environment, I just knew it.

We came upon the quaintest little cottage sitting in the middle of the dark depressing asteroid mine.  It looked completely out of place, impossible even.  We entered into the building through a front door sized airlock.  It even had a doorbell!

As we entered the living room, Lee began to arouse in my arms.  She gently lifted out of my hands and drifted away, driven by an unseen force.  She righted herself and stood floating a foot from the floor of the cozy space cottage.

She stared into my eyes with a glare from a distant place.  Like she was thinking about something else and just leaving her eyes in my direction.  She wasn't though, she was looking at me, all of me, past, present, and maybe...

She began to speak with an angelic harmony that defied the acoustics of the room.

Lady with the lips
Lips that smile
Lips that bite
Lady with the snarling smile

"Do you mean Sayoko?"

You will help her rise
You will help her fall
Your hand will guide this evil
This evil will guide your hand

"I won't play by her rules, sorry."

Her rules are your rules
You make the rules, you rule her
In the end, you'll play, she'll pay
Like children telling a story

"Who are you?"

Once I was sister to the phoenix
Once I was a monster bound by a spell
Always I am the oracle, now and forever
I am Leet

She extended her hand and I began to feel my consciousness slipping.  I spent the next three years in the not so distant past. For my convenience I will chronicle it as usual, but I did not actually have the ability to return to Earth during this time.

Until another time fellow pirates.

My Blog, Talking 'bout My Blooog.

I want to talk about my blog in my blog today.  Time for something a little zen.  I wanted to discuss why I post the way I do and how it's been benefitting me.

As you know, after I blog about my adventures on Earth I begin blogging about my space-faring adventures.  I been using these logs as a scratchpad for my authory thoughts.  It's literary practice like a flat stone to sharpen my knife, a decoy to practice my latest moves on, or an experience rich area to level up my RPG hero.  Even without input from an outside source, I still have learned quite a lot.  Just looking at what I wrote I see things that I like and things I thought would be good but weren't so great.

I'll list a few things now, starting with planning.  I've found that if I concentrate on planning out the story then I tend to rush through the events with not enough details.  Planning is good and keeps me on a clear path, but I've found that fictional writing is much more an emotional process than a logical one.  If it feels right, then go with it.

I found that you can make "special effects" with words.  I used this counting in the background to add emotion to my fight with Jack, and I really liked that.  I'm going to try and experiment with more "text effects" in later posts.

A character from FLCL, Nauta, made a cameo in an earlier post.  I liked the idea, but I totally messed up Nauta.  I didn't capture his character.  One of the problems was I didn't describe him well enough, but the biggest problem was the dialogue was all wrong.  One of my weak points is giving my characters more character in their dialogue.  I'm not entirely sure what I should do.  I guess I should add some frequently used words to each person's unique dialogue.

I've been trying to write with an exponential curve of detail as I progress through each post.  I start out with just the important stuff from the events leading up the main event.  Then I describe the main event with moderate detail up until just before the climactic moment.  Then I spend a lot of detail on the climax leading up to a one-liner.  I think this is a good structure for episodic writing, maybe all writing.

Things I'm planning on doing?  I plan to include some in-depth character bios in my next recap post maybe with pics.  I plan on incorporating a little poetry into my posts.  I've seen it done in some books I've read and I think it might help.  I plan on trying to tie my posts into posts from a couple of days ago.  Like maybe I'll describe a stoplight in one post that I use as a weapon in the next post, etc.


I was eating dinner in my campus dining hall today and it was kind of crowded.  A guy walks up and sits down across from me at my table.  This wouldn't have been strange if it were one of the longer tables, but this was a small four person table.  The guy doesn't say a word and just sits down and starts eating.  I thought about making a comment to break the tension like, "Kinda crowded tonight."  Then I realized that if I wanted to sit down at someone's table, I would ask first.  So I decided to let him talk first, but he never did.  It was really awkward, I think it was his fault.

And then...

The writhing, winged, tentacled monstrosity continued to stare us down.  I tried to avert my eyes.  The terrifying visage of the beast was like a train wreck, you had to keep looking at it.  Only this was worse.  The sight of the being slowly began to peel away your mind and drive you into eternal nightmares.

"Try not... to look... directly at it, Ash."

After managing to avert my eyes, I grabbed Ash's trembling chin and forcibly turned her head from it.  She tore herself away and pushed aside my helping hand.  I explained the plan.

"This is a Cthulu, a small one."

"A Cthulu?  I thought there was only one."

"There used to be, but things happened and now there are plenty of them.  I can fight it, but it will only distract it.  It feeds on the anger of battle.  The only thing that can truly stop it is complete calm and confidence."

"So what do you want me to do?"

"I'm going to drill this thing into the wall.  While we're arm wrestling, I need you somewhere else.  Get out of the mech, go to a dark corner of the cavern and..."

"Out of the Mech!?"

"Find your happy place."

I opened the hatch on the mech.  The writhing tentacles crawled into the hull.  I slammed on the controls and drove a drill right into its center.  The drill began spinning.

Spinning.

The sound of the drill squishing the monsters guts was satisfying.  The monster wasn't really hurting though.  He was just trying to get me riled up and it was working.

"Go, go now!"

Ash bit her lip and jumped through the opening and began crawling to the back of the mech.  I continued to work the drills.

SPinning.

The monster grew bored of crying in agony and reached inside the Mech with its huge clawed hand.  Tentacles protruded from the palm of the paw.  This thing has tentacles all over it.  I drew a sword in one hand while still holding the mech controls in the other.  I rose the sword above my head and twirled it a few times...

SPInning.

...and brought it down on the claw.  I cut off one of the fingers and the hand retracted in false pain.  He was good.  The bloodlust was strong now.  I could feel it...

SPINning.

...welling up inside me.  What was taking Ash so long?  Moments felt like minutes, seconds like hours as the drills continued to spin.

SPINNing.

The monster stared at me with his eye of insanity and reached in and pinned me against the wall with his other hand.  Tentacles crawled up the sides of my head feeling around beneath my eyes.  I felt my head...

SPINNIng.

...aching and sadness, fear, and pain began to fill my whole being.  It drug me out of the mech, helpless to fight back, and towards its abyssal mouth.  Ash couldn't do it, her fear, for herself and me, would keep her from stopping it and this was going to be my final mission.

Then, I felt N.O. rushing up inside me.  I felt the asteroid that surrounded me, drifting, flipping over and over in the comsmos.

SPINNINg.

I think I actually heard the monster chuckle.  He sensed my N.O.  Actually, he was waiting for it.  He was going to absorb it for himself.  I couldn't stop the power.  It came to me like falling unconscious but backwards.  I was waking up and I couldn't stop.

SPINN...

"STOP!"

It was Ash's voice.  My N.O. faded and the monster stared straight at it.

"Put him down."

The monster moved as close as it could to Ash without touching her and she didn't even blink.

"Now."

The monster obeyed reluctantly and then began writhing in a real pain.  It began to shrink.  Not only did it shrink, but it began to take on humanoid form.  It finally reached the form of a young woman with long hair.  It was hard to tell with only the light from the mech, but it looked like her hair was... green.

"Captain!  It's Lee."

Until next time fellow pirates.

Erfworld

Quite some time ago, I was recommended to read a webcomic called Erfworld.  Having finished Book 1, I thought I'd post my thoughts.

Erfworld is a land ruled by the conventions of table-top gaming.  Wars are fought in turns and movement is measured in hexagonal grid spaces.  Lord Stanley is surrounded by enemy forces with his capitol as his only remaining stronghold.  In a last ditch effort to save his kingdom he orders that a warlord be summoned.

Parson is fat, sweaty, minimum wage earning nerd who regularly plays table-top games.  Summoned into Erfworld he is tasked with winning a losing battle.

The artwork is very well done.  This comic features a super-deformed style of drawing found in some japanese comics.  The lines are clean and the colors are well done with some added graphical effects now and then that improve the presentation.

The story has average pacing, not as slow as most web comics but still slower than commercial comics.  The author does a good job in keeping the tension rolling.

The best feature of this comic is the constant allusions especially to internet culture or old TV shows.  The author works them into the story solidly and makes them regularly.  The comic can be pretty funny at times, mostly there's little humor or a sort of dry humor.

I only really have one small complaint.  The author seems to really enjoy the system and world he made with this comic and has extended sections discussing these topics in detail.  It can be very dry and is mostly unimportant.  However, the author does a very good job of setting this information in a different style.  I found that if the information was too boring then I could simply skip over it without missing much story.

I have yet to read the summer updates that add more to the story and the author has yet to start on Book 2, but I believe I will continue to follow this story, it has caught my interest, it might catch yours.

Today it rained cats and dogs.  I got soaked on my way to business writing and flood warnings were given on several of the schools parking lots.  I did go out after class and retrieve some valuable information for deferring some of my loans.

And then...

I pushed off of the ground and floated to the cockpit of the mining robot.  I motioned Ash to follow.  She hesitated, clearly not liking the idea, but decided to follow.  I began tinkering with the controls.  I knew how to operate similar mechs but I had never used one of these before.

"Do you know what you're doing?"

"Relax baby, I never know what I'm doing."

She wasn't reassured by this fact, but sat back for the ride.  The cockpit was designed for one, but it was large enough for Ash to sit on the dash.

I activated the magnetic walking system and began pushing the thing down into the asteroid.  The lighting was damaged and flickered in most places.  Eventually there was no more left.  The metal walkway continued forward and the robot walked across it as if it was the surface of a planet.  The robot had head lights that lit the path right in front of us, but the walls remained mostly dark and the abyssal path ran towards the center of the asteroid.

The dark tentacles of something monstrously large reached out towards the robot from the darkness.  Ash screamed despite herself.  A shiver ran down my back.  I had seen that shape before and I don't like to remember it.  The monster retreated deeper into the darkness of the asteroid.  I turned to look at Ash holding her hands over her mouth.  She took her hands away to reveal a nervous smile.

"Well, I guess that's that.  No Lee, we should head back and try somewhere else."

"Ash, that thing is here for a reason.  They don't just take up residence in any abandoned asteroid.  We should check this out."

"Listen Keelhaul, as a space adventuring female I have a natural aversion to tentacles and I'm not going to support a decision to go further in."

"You wanna get out and walk back?"

The blackness of the tunnel was complete without the head lights of the mech.  That thing was clearly ahead of the vehicle, but it wouldn't be the most pleasant walk back to the ship.  This was going to be challenging.  I had never had the advantage of a giant mech when I fought one of these last time, but I knew that most people wind up dead or worse after encountering these beasts.  It was guarding something and it was likely related to Lee.

"No Cap'n.  Full sail."

The mech continued laboring towards the center of the asteroid.  The complete lack of sound due to the vacuum of space only made this excursion creepier.  The walls of the asteroid were porous.  Most of the holes were too small for a human to crawl through, but some were large enough that the mech might be able to fit in.  Suddenly the walkway ended, but the cave continued forward.

"No, no no, nooo.  I am not getting out and walking."

"Don't worry greens, this thing can still manage without the walkway.  It's just a lot more challenging to steer."

I activated the thruster system and the robot began drifting into the black abyss.  The tunnel ended opening up into a large cavern filled with natural columns.  Far deeper into the center of the cabin I could make out a light.  I adjusted the robot and came to a stop in the cavern to think about how to proceed.

Thump.

Something hit the mech from behind.  My adrenaline rose over 9000.  I twisted the mech around with the thrusters coming face to face with a monstrosity indescribible with words or pictures.  Writhing tentacles twisted from various places on his body, especially from what one would assume was the face.  A giant eye centered on the gruesome for stared into my very soul with a twisted scowl that screamed hatred, fear, agony, and confusion.  His bat-like wings spread so far apart that the lights of the mech could not even illuminate them completely.  His skin was not colored, but rather was black.  Blackness that could not be penetrated mixed with blackness not so strong that seemed to at least reflect some of the light from the headlights.  The eye was green, red, and many other colors, colors that seemed to fade and appear at random.  Yet these colors were not real, if you stopped concentrating on the eye it became the same blackness that formed the rest of the beast.

"W-w-whaat issit?"

"What isn't it?"

Until next time fellow pirates.

Sonic and Friends

About a week ago I believe I told you that I was trying out a writing community called Bibliofaction.  Don't go.  Most of the pieces were poorly written smut, which I expected to a degree after all I was looking for a Deviant Art of writing, but there was no system in place to rate works or sort through the bad ones.  I will continue my search... Elsewhere!

I wanted to mention Google Wave.  My friend who adores guinea pigs, in a totally no homo masculine way, mentioned that the internets were abuzz with this new leet software.  I looked into it and I was actually impressed this time.  Normally I don't approve of listening to hype, but I would advise everyone to keep there eye on this one.  It appears to be a cross between an Instant Messenger and a Document sharer.  It looks like its going to have a lot of functionality.  The makers are kinda stuck up about it, saying they think it's going to replace email, psh yea sure.  I do think it looks like a good product and if its free, hot dog!

Speaking of guinea-man, on Sixty's Blog he reviewed a bad game for a change of pace.  Now I'm not competitive or anything, *glance left and right* but I think I WILL review a bad game.  Okay, maybe a little competitive.


Sonic Heroes

Sonic and his many many obscure friends on a three dimensional adventure to... do... something... that involves Robotn- I mean EGGMAN!

Presentation - This game is in 3D, but the graphics are simple, way too glossy, and tend to clip, flicker and otherwise bug out.  The music is annoying and the theme song makes me want to get a bucket and hurl and then find someone who likes this game and dump it on them.  The cutscenes are clearly not synched up with the voice acting either, not that they'd be impressive if they were.

Presentation gets no points.

Entertainment - 3D Sonic has always struggled and this one is probably the best example.  The controls are stiff, the homing attacks make you bounce all over the place, and weird camera angles for dramatic effect change your controls and make you fall to your death.  Enemies in the game are no threat.  Hitting one makes you lose like 10 rings or something, really easy to get back.  Never the less, you will die all the time in this game.  The game is almost nothing but platforms placed over endless pits of death.  Even landing in deep water is instant death.  Strange camera angles don't make avoiding this death any easier.  An awkard team mechanic coupled with a leveling up system makes this game feel very not Sonic-esque.  When gameplay is the mainstay of a game, like it usually is in platformers, you really can't afford to mess it up.

Entertainment gets no points.

Literary Value - heh, ha, ha ha, HA HA HA HA Ha Ha, Ha, ha, ha, hoo, whoo, yea, good one.

No points.

Respect - Sonic was a big name series and still has a large following, but even most fans of Sonic will still agree, this game stinks.  This is not a highly acclaimed game, in fact its rather often the butt of many a joke.

Sonic Heroes gets NO RESPECT!


Sonic Heroes gets 0 rings / 4 and dies.

Final Notes - This is the only game that I wish I could get rid of.  Most bad games I get I just sell, but my six-year-old sister is a hoog Sonic fan and being six she has no taste in games.  The colorful graphics and repetitive theme song hypnotizes her young impressionable mind and she makes us play it for her sometimes.  We've almost got it completely out of her system by hiding it in the back of our games case, but sometimes she remembers or finds it.  As Roland of Gilead says, "For your father's sake," don't get this game.

Fall Break is coming up this week.  I'll be with my family and I may not update until I get back.  I'm not going to promise I won't, but don't be surprised if I don't.

I worked on my assembly language project today.  Assembly language is probably the most cryptic computer language I've had to deal with.  I have to use a reference card to remember the difference between load word and load immediate.  I got it mostly done today all that's left is some debugging.

And then...

We landed the ship on the asteroid's landing pad.  The place was an abandoned mining colony with old rusted digging equipment and space weathered buildings with faded Fraction Corps logos on them.  (It looks like pac man)

"Nanobot Command, Astro-Shield, Personal" I commanded the nanobots to form a space survival shield to protect me from the vacuum of space and provide me with compressed air to breath.  It's completely invisible.

Ash repeated my command.

She cut her hair back to its original short state where it comes down just below her ears.  It is still completely green, apparently she didn't have the dye to get the blond tips she had before.  Reminds me of Ryoko on Martian Successor Nadesico.

"Stop staring and lets get moving."

"Hey now, I'm the captain, I give the... orders."

She had already pushed off the ship towards one of the walk lines.  The gravity on the asteroid is too low to really walk so the workers put up ropes along the surface they could use to pull themselves along with.

The barren cold surface of the asteroid filled with the ruins of a long gone civilization gave me a bad feeling.  You have to think that people once lived and worked here every day.  Now there was nothing but silence.

"COMM CHECK!"

"Lord! Ash, do you have to yell?"

"I'll take that as an affirmative."

"Yea, yea, affirmative.  There's no one here, if your sis is hiding out here she's gotta be in the mines."

"Roger that, let's go."

"Aye."

We drifted into the darkness of the mines.  As we got deeper into the cave we realized neither of us had brought a flashlight.

"I think we should go back."

Just then, the lights flickered on.  Ash's eyes flickered on as well.

"She's here!"

"calm down, could've been motion detected or worse, could be someone else."

"Stop being pessimistic."

"Then stay on your toes!"

She stared at me for a moment with nothing but defiance in her puckered lips, but then she softened into a grudging compliance.

"Aye cap'n."

We continued down the mines until we reached a sector with a huge metal walkway leading deeper.  The walkway appeared to be for using magnetic boots to simulate gravity, but there were still walk lines along the ground.

"What d'you think these metal walkways are for?"

Ash pointed down the cave.

"That."

I followed her gaze to a towering metal colossus with drills for arms.  A mech, mining class, but big enough to impress anyone standing in its shadow.  Nearly ten stories tall, its drills were at least two stories tall by themselves.

"I want one."

Until next time fellow pirates.